Quizz Show

Oh, exams. Some love them. Some despise them. I personally question the sanity of those that comprise the former group. It has been quite a long time since the last time I updated this blog. Consider the following events that have taken place since my last blog post:

-The San Francisco 49ers (and esteemed quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan) have won two games, whereas Drew Brees’ Saints and Brett Favre’s Packers have lost two games.
-I have submitted eleven trade requests in fantasy football. I have been turned down eleven times.

-Justin Samson has talked to three (yes, more than one) girls.

So it’s been an eventful week. After not only surviving, but, to some extent, dominating exam week, I feel that as a veteran in this learning game, I can offer a few wise words of wisdom regarding Virginia Commonwealth University:

-Love Shafer. Some of you who were actually accepted into prestigious, even marginal schools, have the luxury of multiple dining halls to select from on a day-to-day basis. Here in the center of FANville, a school of 21,000 students doesn’t see fit to satisfy our digestive needs. Not like we’re paying tuition, or anything. But instead of shunning it, you should embrace it. It’s like in Semi-Pro when one of the players takes great care of his brother. Even though, as Will Ferrell/Jackie Moon points out, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis brother’s a retard.” The grub is actually a B+ or A- on most (non-Chinese food) days. But I guess the trashing of Shafer is to be expected from the school comprised of an intelligence makeup such as VCU. Which segways perfectly into my next point…

-Show up for the quizzes. In a class of 300+ people, if you don’t show up once in a while, the prof won’t notice. Shooooo, in our Poli Sci class the other day, I counted eighty nine- eighty nine!!!!- students. Dr. O either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The previous class, there were roughly a hundred fifty, two hundred students. Problem is, in a three hundred person class, that means one hundred scholars (I use that term loosely) DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE QUIZ. And when he says “quiz,” what Dr. O means is “quiz (that counts for 25% of your grade).” And honestly, after going to class everyday, studying, and taking the exam, I feel like going to class is highly unnecessary (though it is a practice I will continue), and I could get an A going to just four classes- the three exams and the final. So if you’re going for the high achievement to effort ratio, I advise you not to throw away two letter grades in an hour and fifteen minutes.

-Go to the gym. Just not when I’m there. The gym has started to get even more and more crowded than before, and now that intramural South-American Cross Country (my new terminology for soccer) is happening, conveniently on the one indoor basketball court, the fellows who would be jacking up threes are now jacking up bench press bars. The prime times for lifting, unbothered, are the mornings (prior to eleven) and between 1300 and 1500 hours. But if you want to show up then and spot me, by all means you are very welcome to.

-Mark Sanchez is a faggot. This is not meant to be offensive to gay people, or is it relevant to the rest of these bullet points. I just looked up on my television to see Sanchez dancing with his O-Line, imitating a referee making a false start ruling. Only, the referee wasn’t basically grinding with his tight end. Plus, his face is SMOTHERED in black eye grease. Sanchez….grease…. you make the connection. Me being politically correct and all, I won’t even suggest I’m implying anything.

And that’s a rap. Yo.*

*Erin Andrews (Love her), when referring to the Oregon State O-Linemen, said that they were “jus chillin’” on the sideline. She is (debatably) better looking than I am, but clearly just as white internally and epidermally, so if she can talk hood so can I. This applies to all future blog posts.

My wife back in her college days

Now, onto my inspiration for blogging at the moment. This Oregon State-USC game is very pleasing on the eyes. Oregon State brought a 21-0 lead into halftime, and though they gave up a couple touchdowns, strung together some stops and now they’re moving the ball pretty good. Quizz Rodgers is putting on a crazy show, and the Beaver O-Line is pushing around the Trojan D-Line the way Tony Siragusa’s stomach pushes around Baconators. Or the way the Jonas Brothers push each other around in bed. But make no mistake, this is a Quizz Show.

Anytime someone as diminutive in stature as Quizz (5-6) succeeds against the big, bad, despised USC Trojans, it is blog-worthy. As I speak, Oregon State gets their field goal attempt reee-jected. Like one of the Jonas Brothers when they ask out a (legally aged) girl. Still, I am confident that Oregon State’s defense can make a final stand.

I feel like someone warned you all about USC losing a Pac-10 game…..

Out