Tim Tebow is recognized as a legitimate deity in forty seven states and two different countries (yeah, he's kind of hero for circumcising young boys in Thailand while wearing Crocs), yet his failure to convert a fourth and one cost Florida a win and me a season's worth of predictions.
It's not over yet. I'm unwilling to throw in the towel, because a) If Florida somehow remains unscathed the rest of the season, they'll still make the championship game, and b) everyone else is losing like it's half off at Wal-Mart. Numbers 1, 3, 4, 9, 16, 22 and 24 all came out on the low end this week. And the USC loss certainly balances out the Florida loss, at least on the emotional end of things. With plenty of time to kill, I was able to submit a ballot to the Associated Press. I'm not sure I'm exactly qualified by newspaper terms to cast a vote in these matters, nor am I sure e-mailing the AP with a pseudo e-mail is the correct manner in making my voice count. So my ballot might not necessarily count for anything point-wise, but I'm holding out hope it could be used as a tiebreaker, if it comes to that. For your benefit:
Team (Record) Conference
1. Oklahoma (4-0) Big 12
2. Missouri (4-0) Big 12
3. Alabama (5-0) SEC
4. LSU (4-0) SEC
5. Texas (4-0) Big 12
6. Penn State (5-0) Big Ten
7. Florida (3-1) SEC
8. USC (2-1) Pac 10
9. BYU (4-0) Mountain West
10. Georgia (4-1) SEC
11. Ohio State (4-1) Big Ten
12. South Florida (5-0) Big East
13. Texas Tech (4-0) Big 12
14. Kansas (3-1) Big 12
15. Wisconsin (3-1) Big Ten
16. Utah (4-0) Mountain West
17. Auburn (4-1) SEC
18. Boise State (3-0) WAC
19. Fresno State (3-1) WAC
20. Northwestern (5-0) Big Ten
21. Oklahoma State (4-0) Big 12
22. Virginia Tech (4-1) ACC
23. Maryland (4-1) ACC
24. Wake Forest (3-1) ACC
25. Vanderbilt (4-0) SEC
Basically, the Big 12 and the SEC dominate this thing. I'm not too high on Texas Tech, and I'm certainly not drinking the Vanderbilt Kool-aid, but give them credit for being undefeated so far. The 49ers have won two games before either of these teams have lost one, so hats off to them. I'm sure Vanderbilt will rip right through the Georgia-Florida-Tennessee-Wake Forest section of their schedule.
The beautiful thing about Saturdays is you have nothing to do but meet fellow bloggers via the internet. Which I have taken the liberty to do today. I don't know if I'm fave five status with any of these bloggers yet, but perhaps I will eventually be able to secure a guest post. I notice all of their blogs have some sort of recurring theme, whereas mine kind of goes in whatever direction I feel. Sometimes that direction is not leaving the garage. I admire the commitment of every single one of these bloggers. The most impressive deduction I have made is their hard work has secured them a number of loyal followers, who in turn do the work for them. When you have upwards of five hundred avid daily readers, and you say "get me a video of Amare Stoudemire," I'll be darned if they don't come up with a video of Amare guest-starring in Yo Gabba Gabba. This is seriously one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. This week.
I got this video courtesy of Awful Announcing, which is my favorite of the many blogs which I have stumbled across this evening. Not only is it insightful, hilarious, and very user-intuitive, it has actual factual information that one would find useful. Such as, what NFL games I will be seeing week-in and week-out, and who will be calling these games. Also, as one would imagine, the blog centers around the theme of subpar commentators, meaning every once in a while, I stumble upon a gem uttered by this blog's hero, Emmitt Smith. Apparently sometime during Monday Night Countdown, he proclaimed "The good thing about being short is everyone else is tall." I don't know how that helps me, but as an individual falling below the average American height, I gain solace in knowing that Emmitt sees the brightside in my woes.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Obligatory Friday Update!
So remember how I called out the Shafer haters yesterday? Well, despite my love for the dining establishment, I do have a few minor gripes about the place (or, using Richmond terminology, "beef"). One of those beefs was the lack of beef at dinner tonight. No, what was offered was pancakes, sausage, and potatoes, a throwback of sorts to the elementary school "breakfast for lunch" offerings.
Though today wasn't terribly eventful, I am still on an unbelievable high that I owe to the Quizz Show in Corvallis. My loathing of USC is only topped (or bottomed) by my hatred for Duke, the Yankees, and perhaps the Lakers.
Some more planning has been planned, as far as prank plannage goes. The camcorder isn't really broken in yet, expect that to change in the coming days.
Though today wasn't terribly eventful, I am still on an unbelievable high that I owe to the Quizz Show in Corvallis. My loathing of USC is only topped (or bottomed) by my hatred for Duke, the Yankees, and perhaps the Lakers.
Some more planning has been planned, as far as prank plannage goes. The camcorder isn't really broken in yet, expect that to change in the coming days.
Quizz Show
Oh, exams. Some love them. Some despise them. I personally question the sanity of those that comprise the former group. It has been quite a long time since the last time I updated this blog. Consider the following events that have taken place since my last blog post:
-The San Francisco 49ers (and esteemed quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan) have won two games, whereas Drew Brees’ Saints and Brett Favre’s Packers have lost two games.
-I have submitted eleven trade requests in fantasy football. I have been turned down eleven times.
-Justin Samson has talked to three (yes, more than one) girls.
So it’s been an eventful week. After not only surviving, but, to some extent, dominating exam week, I feel that as a veteran in this learning game, I can offer a few wise words of wisdom regarding Virginia Commonwealth University:
-Love Shafer. Some of you who were actually accepted into prestigious, even marginal schools, have the luxury of multiple dining halls to select from on a day-to-day basis. Here in the center of FANville, a school of 21,000 students doesn’t see fit to satisfy our digestive needs. Not like we’re paying tuition, or anything. But instead of shunning it, you should embrace it. It’s like in Semi-Pro when one of the players takes great care of his brother. Even though, as Will Ferrell/Jackie Moon points out, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis brother’s a retard.” The grub is actually a B+ or A- on most (non-Chinese food) days. But I guess the trashing of Shafer is to be expected from the school comprised of an intelligence makeup such as VCU. Which segways perfectly into my next point…
-Show up for the quizzes. In a class of 300+ people, if you don’t show up once in a while, the prof won’t notice. Shooooo, in our Poli Sci class the other day, I counted eighty nine- eighty nine!!!!- students. Dr. O either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The previous class, there were roughly a hundred fifty, two hundred students. Problem is, in a three hundred person class, that means one hundred scholars (I use that term loosely) DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE QUIZ. And when he says “quiz,” what Dr. O means is “quiz (that counts for 25% of your grade).” And honestly, after going to class everyday, studying, and taking the exam, I feel like going to class is highly unnecessary (though it is a practice I will continue), and I could get an A going to just four classes- the three exams and the final. So if you’re going for the high achievement to effort ratio, I advise you not to throw away two letter grades in an hour and fifteen minutes.
-Go to the gym. Just not when I’m there. The gym has started to get even more and more crowded than before, and now that intramural South-American Cross Country (my new terminology for soccer) is happening, conveniently on the one indoor basketball court, the fellows who would be jacking up threes are now jacking up bench press bars. The prime times for lifting, unbothered, are the mornings (prior to eleven) and between 1300 and 1500 hours. But if you want to show up then and spot me, by all means you are very welcome to.
-Mark Sanchez is a faggot. This is not meant to be offensive to gay people, or is it relevant to the rest of these bullet points. I just looked up on my television to see Sanchez dancing with his O-Line, imitating a referee making a false start ruling. Only, the referee wasn’t basically grinding with his tight end. Plus, his face is SMOTHERED in black eye grease. Sanchez….grease…. you make the connection. Me being politically correct and all, I won’t even suggest I’m implying anything.
And that’s a rap. Yo.*
*Erin Andrews (Love her), when referring to the Oregon State O-Linemen, said that they were “jus chillin’” on the sideline. She is (debatably) better looking than I am, but clearly just as white internally and epidermally, so if she can talk hood so can I. This applies to all future blog posts.
My wife back in her college days
Now, onto my inspiration for blogging at the moment. This Oregon State-USC game is very pleasing on the eyes. Oregon State brought a 21-0 lead into halftime, and though they gave up a couple touchdowns, strung together some stops and now they’re moving the ball pretty good. Quizz Rodgers is putting on a crazy show, and the Beaver O-Line is pushing around the Trojan D-Line the way Tony Siragusa’s stomach pushes around Baconators. Or the way the Jonas Brothers push each other around in bed. But make no mistake, this is a Quizz Show.
Anytime someone as diminutive in stature as Quizz (5-6) succeeds against the big, bad, despised USC Trojans, it is blog-worthy. As I speak, Oregon State gets their field goal attempt reee-jected. Like one of the Jonas Brothers when they ask out a (legally aged) girl. Still, I am confident that Oregon State’s defense can make a final stand.
I feel like someone warned you all about USC losing a Pac-10 game…..
Out
-The San Francisco 49ers (and esteemed quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan) have won two games, whereas Drew Brees’ Saints and Brett Favre’s Packers have lost two games.
-I have submitted eleven trade requests in fantasy football. I have been turned down eleven times.
-Justin Samson has talked to three (yes, more than one) girls.
So it’s been an eventful week. After not only surviving, but, to some extent, dominating exam week, I feel that as a veteran in this learning game, I can offer a few wise words of wisdom regarding Virginia Commonwealth University:
-Love Shafer. Some of you who were actually accepted into prestigious, even marginal schools, have the luxury of multiple dining halls to select from on a day-to-day basis. Here in the center of FANville, a school of 21,000 students doesn’t see fit to satisfy our digestive needs. Not like we’re paying tuition, or anything. But instead of shunning it, you should embrace it. It’s like in Semi-Pro when one of the players takes great care of his brother. Even though, as Will Ferrell/Jackie Moon points out, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis brother’s a retard.” The grub is actually a B+ or A- on most (non-Chinese food) days. But I guess the trashing of Shafer is to be expected from the school comprised of an intelligence makeup such as VCU. Which segways perfectly into my next point…
-Show up for the quizzes. In a class of 300+ people, if you don’t show up once in a while, the prof won’t notice. Shooooo, in our Poli Sci class the other day, I counted eighty nine- eighty nine!!!!- students. Dr. O either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The previous class, there were roughly a hundred fifty, two hundred students. Problem is, in a three hundred person class, that means one hundred scholars (I use that term loosely) DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE QUIZ. And when he says “quiz,” what Dr. O means is “quiz (that counts for 25% of your grade).” And honestly, after going to class everyday, studying, and taking the exam, I feel like going to class is highly unnecessary (though it is a practice I will continue), and I could get an A going to just four classes- the three exams and the final. So if you’re going for the high achievement to effort ratio, I advise you not to throw away two letter grades in an hour and fifteen minutes.
-Go to the gym. Just not when I’m there. The gym has started to get even more and more crowded than before, and now that intramural South-American Cross Country (my new terminology for soccer) is happening, conveniently on the one indoor basketball court, the fellows who would be jacking up threes are now jacking up bench press bars. The prime times for lifting, unbothered, are the mornings (prior to eleven) and between 1300 and 1500 hours. But if you want to show up then and spot me, by all means you are very welcome to.
-Mark Sanchez is a faggot. This is not meant to be offensive to gay people, or is it relevant to the rest of these bullet points. I just looked up on my television to see Sanchez dancing with his O-Line, imitating a referee making a false start ruling. Only, the referee wasn’t basically grinding with his tight end. Plus, his face is SMOTHERED in black eye grease. Sanchez….grease…. you make the connection. Me being politically correct and all, I won’t even suggest I’m implying anything.
And that’s a rap. Yo.*
*Erin Andrews (Love her), when referring to the Oregon State O-Linemen, said that they were “jus chillin’” on the sideline. She is (debatably) better looking than I am, but clearly just as white internally and epidermally, so if she can talk hood so can I. This applies to all future blog posts.
My wife back in her college daysNow, onto my inspiration for blogging at the moment. This Oregon State-USC game is very pleasing on the eyes. Oregon State brought a 21-0 lead into halftime, and though they gave up a couple touchdowns, strung together some stops and now they’re moving the ball pretty good. Quizz Rodgers is putting on a crazy show, and the Beaver O-Line is pushing around the Trojan D-Line the way Tony Siragusa’s stomach pushes around Baconators. Or the way the Jonas Brothers push each other around in bed. But make no mistake, this is a Quizz Show.
Anytime someone as diminutive in stature as Quizz (5-6) succeeds against the big, bad, despised USC Trojans, it is blog-worthy. As I speak, Oregon State gets their field goal attempt reee-jected. Like one of the Jonas Brothers when they ask out a (legally aged) girl. Still, I am confident that Oregon State’s defense can make a final stand.
I feel like someone warned you all about USC losing a Pac-10 game…..
Out
Friday, September 19, 2008
Gratefulness
Everyone has something or someone that they are thankful of. It can be as trivial as baseball or Pop-Tarts, or as paramount as family or shelter. Rightfully so.
Often overlooked are the basic skills and general knowledge that go along with the American culture and education. Some people learn algebra; fewer people learn geometry; and even fewer learn calculus. There are places in the world where people don’t even know addition or subtraction. It’s not necessarily their faults; they don’t grow up being told that knowing it is important. Perhaps there is nobody in the village capable of teaching them.
The problem goes beyond simple mathematics. As youngsters, we learn such “simple” concepts as “don’t talk to strangers” and “look both ways before you cross the street.” There are areas of the world where people don’t know that. It is common knowledge to us that birds don’t swim and pigeons don’t fly. It isn’t to everyone. What exactly falls under the category of “common sense” is dependent on perspective.
Living in America, it is knowledge that witchcraft is fictional and doesn’t exceed the boundaries of Harry Potter or Charmed. Sadly, I ran across this story when checking sports scores. The gist of the story was that a riot ensued during a soccer match in Congo when the crowd believed an opposing player was using witchcraft, causing a stampede for the exits. Thirteen people died. One phrase from the article sticks out in my head. Most victims were between the ages of eleven and sixteen.
Africa is a mess. When people aren’t dying from AIDS or genocide, things like this are happening. The fact that this tragedy occurred during a soccer game, one of the few positives that unites Africans, makes it that much more horrific. The problem in Africa is a lot deeper than poverty; the money funneled into Africa to feed starving children mostly ends up going to waste. Of course, food is needed; but the root of the problem stems from a lack of basic education and common sense.
Don’t have sex with people with AIDS. Knowledge is the cornerstone of existence. Killing is wrong.
Sadly, one thing that makes America so great is the gap between us and third world countries, not just in terms of dollars and resources, but this so-called “basic” knowledge. There are many people and organizations trying to help; for example, Dikembe Mutumbo was recognized during George Bush’s State of the Union for his efforts in Zaire. He has helped build schools and a hospital, and his efforts have inspired teammate Tracy McGrady to start a network of schools in Kenya. Others with less star power are also doing their best to aid such a dire cause.
Don’t have sex with people with AIDS. Knowledge is the cornerstone of existence. Killing is wrong. Until we can successfully impart this message onto Africans, we are doing nothing more than treading water.
Often overlooked are the basic skills and general knowledge that go along with the American culture and education. Some people learn algebra; fewer people learn geometry; and even fewer learn calculus. There are places in the world where people don’t even know addition or subtraction. It’s not necessarily their faults; they don’t grow up being told that knowing it is important. Perhaps there is nobody in the village capable of teaching them.
The problem goes beyond simple mathematics. As youngsters, we learn such “simple” concepts as “don’t talk to strangers” and “look both ways before you cross the street.” There are areas of the world where people don’t know that. It is common knowledge to us that birds don’t swim and pigeons don’t fly. It isn’t to everyone. What exactly falls under the category of “common sense” is dependent on perspective.
Living in America, it is knowledge that witchcraft is fictional and doesn’t exceed the boundaries of Harry Potter or Charmed. Sadly, I ran across this story when checking sports scores. The gist of the story was that a riot ensued during a soccer match in Congo when the crowd believed an opposing player was using witchcraft, causing a stampede for the exits. Thirteen people died. One phrase from the article sticks out in my head. Most victims were between the ages of eleven and sixteen.
Africa is a mess. When people aren’t dying from AIDS or genocide, things like this are happening. The fact that this tragedy occurred during a soccer game, one of the few positives that unites Africans, makes it that much more horrific. The problem in Africa is a lot deeper than poverty; the money funneled into Africa to feed starving children mostly ends up going to waste. Of course, food is needed; but the root of the problem stems from a lack of basic education and common sense.
Don’t have sex with people with AIDS. Knowledge is the cornerstone of existence. Killing is wrong.
Sadly, one thing that makes America so great is the gap between us and third world countries, not just in terms of dollars and resources, but this so-called “basic” knowledge. There are many people and organizations trying to help; for example, Dikembe Mutumbo was recognized during George Bush’s State of the Union for his efforts in Zaire. He has helped build schools and a hospital, and his efforts have inspired teammate Tracy McGrady to start a network of schools in Kenya. Others with less star power are also doing their best to aid such a dire cause.
Don’t have sex with people with AIDS. Knowledge is the cornerstone of existence. Killing is wrong. Until we can successfully impart this message onto Africans, we are doing nothing more than treading water.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I Love it When Playlists Just Make Themselves
Which is basically what happened when I plugged in my iPod. Because all of my music is back home, I had become content with just listening to music on my iPod with headphones. Until I discovered that I could plug in the iPod, fondle with a few settings, and voila!
So I thought I'd share with all my computer genius.
1) You-
Okay I'm not doing step by step. But if you open the folder containing the actual iPod hardware (possibly the E: drive), and allow for hidden folders to be displayed, it's all there. The obvious downside to this method is music is cluttered, unorganized, and... anonymous. You can see the artists names, but, for example, "Fireman" by Lil' Wayne is actually "ARZQ" by Lil' Wayne.
The Playlist:
1) Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet
2) She's Gotta Be- Keith Urban
3) Guns and Roses- Jay-Z
4) Garden Grove- Sublime
5) Flat on the Floor- Carrie Underwood
6) I'll Take You On- Howie Day
7) The Mountains Win Again- Blues Traveler
8) All- Collective Soul
9) Daughters- John Mayer
10 Jesus, Take the Wheel- Carrie Underwood
11) It's Not Me- 3 Doors Down
12) Summertime- Kenny Chesney
13) Pork and Beans- Weezer
14) Love Song- Sara Bareilles
15) Warmth of the Sun- Beach Boys
16) Talkin' Bout It- Lil' Wayne
17) Disturbia- Rihanna
18) It's Working- Mark Wills
19) Trade Yourself In- Shinedown
20) Designated Drinker- Alan Jackson
Beautiful. Yes, I am annoying the crap out of my roommate playing excessive country music, which serves him right. I came back from class today and BET was on. On MY TV. I'm pretty sure my TV has been designated sporting events-only, but he must not have gotten the memo.
Also, I was 11-4 in picking Week 2 NFL contests, bringing my season record to... 11-4. I probably should have begun predicting games in the first week to maximize my victories.
My fantasy team exceeded all my wildest expectations. Who could have expected Justin Tuck to have two sacks AND an interception AND a touchdown? Who could have expected both J-Beast AND Chris Gamble to force fumbles and record 8 solo tackles apiece? Most stunningly, who could have expected Darren McDaniels AND Jon Stewart to have two rushing touchdowns apiece? Hasselbeck kinda blew though. So here's my strategy, following the buy low-sell high mantra:
Old Crappy Team --> Harlem Globetrotters of Fantasy Football plus a White Quarterback
Trade 1:
Matt Hasselbeck Jake Delhomme and Dwayne Bowe --> Drew Brees Andre Johnson and Jamarcus Russell (cutting Jamarcus Russell, signed Trent Edwards)
Trade 2:
Jon Stewart and Chris Perry --> Jamal Lewis and Felix Jones (return yards & TD's do count)
Trade 3: Michael Turner, Michael Jenkins and Pittsburgh Defense --> MBIII, Laurence Maroney, and Buffalo Defense (Hurts to give up Pitt's D, but now I have both of Dallas's RB's and Lo-Mo. I believe points are awarded for jumping through SUV's)
This might be the most disorganized blog post in my brief blogging career. Just admire the my playlist-creating and general management skills.
So I thought I'd share with all my computer genius.
1) You-
Okay I'm not doing step by step. But if you open the folder containing the actual iPod hardware (possibly the E: drive), and allow for hidden folders to be displayed, it's all there. The obvious downside to this method is music is cluttered, unorganized, and... anonymous. You can see the artists names, but, for example, "Fireman" by Lil' Wayne is actually "ARZQ" by Lil' Wayne.
The Playlist:
1) Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet
2) She's Gotta Be- Keith Urban
3) Guns and Roses- Jay-Z
4) Garden Grove- Sublime
5) Flat on the Floor- Carrie Underwood
6) I'll Take You On- Howie Day
7) The Mountains Win Again- Blues Traveler
8) All- Collective Soul
9) Daughters- John Mayer
10 Jesus, Take the Wheel- Carrie Underwood
11) It's Not Me- 3 Doors Down
12) Summertime- Kenny Chesney
13) Pork and Beans- Weezer
14) Love Song- Sara Bareilles
15) Warmth of the Sun- Beach Boys
16) Talkin' Bout It- Lil' Wayne
17) Disturbia- Rihanna
18) It's Working- Mark Wills
19) Trade Yourself In- Shinedown
20) Designated Drinker- Alan Jackson
Beautiful. Yes, I am annoying the crap out of my roommate playing excessive country music, which serves him right. I came back from class today and BET was on. On MY TV. I'm pretty sure my TV has been designated sporting events-only, but he must not have gotten the memo.
Also, I was 11-4 in picking Week 2 NFL contests, bringing my season record to... 11-4. I probably should have begun predicting games in the first week to maximize my victories.
My fantasy team exceeded all my wildest expectations. Who could have expected Justin Tuck to have two sacks AND an interception AND a touchdown? Who could have expected both J-Beast AND Chris Gamble to force fumbles and record 8 solo tackles apiece? Most stunningly, who could have expected Darren McDaniels AND Jon Stewart to have two rushing touchdowns apiece? Hasselbeck kinda blew though. So here's my strategy, following the buy low-sell high mantra:
Old Crappy Team --> Harlem Globetrotters of Fantasy Football plus a White Quarterback
Trade 1:
Matt Hasselbeck Jake Delhomme and Dwayne Bowe --> Drew Brees Andre Johnson and Jamarcus Russell (cutting Jamarcus Russell, signed Trent Edwards)
Trade 2:
Jon Stewart and Chris Perry --> Jamal Lewis and Felix Jones (return yards & TD's do count)
Trade 3: Michael Turner, Michael Jenkins and Pittsburgh Defense --> MBIII, Laurence Maroney, and Buffalo Defense (Hurts to give up Pitt's D, but now I have both of Dallas's RB's and Lo-Mo. I believe points are awarded for jumping through SUV's)
This might be the most disorganized blog post in my brief blogging career. Just admire the my playlist-creating and general management skills.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Prodding versus Pushing
I was inspired to write this piece by Mark Davis, a VCU classmate of mine, who wrote a very insightful piece for our Focused Inquiry blog.
Many a day, there is a man standing outside of Commons who loudly attempts to force his Christian views upon us. He utilizes inflammatory propaganda to help make our decision for us. Check yes, and you will not be judged poorly by the Lord, says the flier covered in fake blood. Check no, and prepare for a post-life of Hell. Literally. By checking no, you will not automatically submit to this screaming maniac’s wishes, you admit that you have, are, will lead a life of hate and atrocity.
I have walked past this man many a time, each time considering myself fortunate not to be the target of his rage. The one time I did find myself face-to-face with him, I just took his pamphlet and peaced out. (It may help his act if he used some mouthwash. That was one of the worst smelling conversations I’ve ever had.) However, after reading Mark’s blog, it was brought to my attention that his forceful have led to shouting matches that may have gotten physical had the individuals not been restrained.
Obviously, this man is very passionate about what he feels and believes. There is no amount of money you could pay me to act like that, to be that forceful and confrontational with people, especially with something as sensitive as religious beliefs.
Everything that has happened in my life has somehow shaped my morals and beliefs. Having nearly reached the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my beliefs, I can say the people who have been most influential on me have shared several common traits. They are all kind, supportive, and informative; but mostly, they are all very respectful of the fact that it never was and never is there decision to make for me. It is just my personality to shrivel up and shy away from something that I am forced to do, especially if I do not see the good in it; others might attack the situation head-on. Either way, the result is not positive.
If Person A believes in X, and Person B believes in Y, and I am person C, trying to decide between the two, I obviously want to make the decision that is best for me. Let’s say that hypothetically, Person A is forceful and over-the-top in sharing his convictions, whereas Person B is much more give-and-take, and much more patient and understanding. This could go one of two ways. I would either be much more turned off by the brutality of Person A’s argument, or I would submit to his ways just to make him relent. In the first example, I immediately rejected his beliefs; in the second, I went with them, but not necessarily because I believed in the reasoning behind them. So either way, it did not go well for Person A, if his goal truly was for me to embrace his views.
In a country as diverse as the United States, many different political and religious views attempt to co-exist. I have my convictions, and another person might have theirs. So long as they are strong in their faith and belief, it would be wrong to question them, because their belief is just as strong as mine. So while I might try to show them the light, and convince them that my beliefs are truer, I would never bombard them or accuse them of wrongdoing. Everyone in this country has a right to practice whatever religion they please, and law aside, it is disrespectful to call them a sinner because their beliefs differ.
So maybe, Person A standing in the middle of Student Commons, you do believe your views are correct above all others. And I’m sure in a school of 21,000 undergraduate students, you can find at least a few willing to listen to your points, to impart your beliefs on. But literally forcing yourself on them is not the way to go. And trying to trick students with the bold imagery of your shameless propaganda is not the right way, either.
Many a day, there is a man standing outside of Commons who loudly attempts to force his Christian views upon us. He utilizes inflammatory propaganda to help make our decision for us. Check yes, and you will not be judged poorly by the Lord, says the flier covered in fake blood. Check no, and prepare for a post-life of Hell. Literally. By checking no, you will not automatically submit to this screaming maniac’s wishes, you admit that you have, are, will lead a life of hate and atrocity.
I have walked past this man many a time, each time considering myself fortunate not to be the target of his rage. The one time I did find myself face-to-face with him, I just took his pamphlet and peaced out. (It may help his act if he used some mouthwash. That was one of the worst smelling conversations I’ve ever had.) However, after reading Mark’s blog, it was brought to my attention that his forceful have led to shouting matches that may have gotten physical had the individuals not been restrained.
Obviously, this man is very passionate about what he feels and believes. There is no amount of money you could pay me to act like that, to be that forceful and confrontational with people, especially with something as sensitive as religious beliefs.
Everything that has happened in my life has somehow shaped my morals and beliefs. Having nearly reached the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my beliefs, I can say the people who have been most influential on me have shared several common traits. They are all kind, supportive, and informative; but mostly, they are all very respectful of the fact that it never was and never is there decision to make for me. It is just my personality to shrivel up and shy away from something that I am forced to do, especially if I do not see the good in it; others might attack the situation head-on. Either way, the result is not positive.
If Person A believes in X, and Person B believes in Y, and I am person C, trying to decide between the two, I obviously want to make the decision that is best for me. Let’s say that hypothetically, Person A is forceful and over-the-top in sharing his convictions, whereas Person B is much more give-and-take, and much more patient and understanding. This could go one of two ways. I would either be much more turned off by the brutality of Person A’s argument, or I would submit to his ways just to make him relent. In the first example, I immediately rejected his beliefs; in the second, I went with them, but not necessarily because I believed in the reasoning behind them. So either way, it did not go well for Person A, if his goal truly was for me to embrace his views.
In a country as diverse as the United States, many different political and religious views attempt to co-exist. I have my convictions, and another person might have theirs. So long as they are strong in their faith and belief, it would be wrong to question them, because their belief is just as strong as mine. So while I might try to show them the light, and convince them that my beliefs are truer, I would never bombard them or accuse them of wrongdoing. Everyone in this country has a right to practice whatever religion they please, and law aside, it is disrespectful to call them a sinner because their beliefs differ.
So maybe, Person A standing in the middle of Student Commons, you do believe your views are correct above all others. And I’m sure in a school of 21,000 undergraduate students, you can find at least a few willing to listen to your points, to impart your beliefs on. But literally forcing yourself on them is not the way to go. And trying to trick students with the bold imagery of your shameless propaganda is not the right way, either.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
College Football, Week 3 in Review
--USC clearly established themselves as the deepest, most athletic, and team to beat this season. And Ohio State is not as bad as they looked.
In my opinion, the differences between USC and Ohio State are quarterback play and big play ability. That's it. Ohio State has a defense that includes at least three first round draft picks (DB Malcolm Jenkins, LB's Marcus Freeman and James Lauranitis), but none of them have playmaker skills they way USC's defenders do. USC has game-changing players at each of the three defensive tiers (particularly on the line), as in players who can make tackles for loss, force fumbles, and come up with interceptions. A similar story could be told on the other side of the ball. With Beanie Wells out, USC had four running backs better and more athletic than anyone Ohio State put out there. Damien Williams emerged as a deep threat at receiver. In fact, I would venture a guess that the only USC-level athletes Ohio State has are Wells and Terrelle Pryor. Wells, of course, sat out with injury, and Pryor was inexplicably held out for too many plays. He was their only consistently effective player.
Despite the lopsided score, the game was actually fairly even, at least over the first half. Ohio State had statistical advantages in every category except for scoring. Both had one turnover; Ohio State dominated time of possesion, and had more total offense; they just didn't have the athletes to finish off their drives. Terrelle Pryor also had a very good showing, establishing himself as capable of leading a BCS caliber team. Seeing his outstanding play, and seeing USC chase Boeckman around in the second half, makes me wonder if there's a correlation between OSU's big game flops and Boeckman's shaky QB play. If the Buckeyes can get some sort of consistent quarterback play (perhaps starting Pryor?), I still see them as a top 10 team who perhaps won't lose again all season.
--The only other top team that proved themself unworthy of National Championship discussion was Auburn. Both Auburn and Georgia engaged in hard-fought, defensive battles with lesser SEC foes. But Georgia's 14-7 win is somewhat condonable, because it came against South Carolina, who has a vastly underrated defense. Even the best teams have these close-fought games with good but not elite teams. So long as this is not a regular occurance, I lost not confidence in Georgia (I was actually impressed with their defense), and I fully expect them to dominate Championship pretender Arizona State next week. Auburn, on the other hand, won 3-2 against Mississippi State. If you can't score but 3 points against Mississippi State, you aren't winning much of anything.
-Despite USC's dominance, I still have Florida pegged as my National Champions. Florida has nearly as many weapons as USC, a developing defense, and an O-Line that will both improve over the course of the year. I fully expect them to find a consistent running threat, too. While USC is better overall, the Gators have a quarterback who is not only the best player in the country, but has National Championship experience and big-game poise unmatched by USC slinger Mark Sanchez. Were these two teams to meet in the championship, I fully expect the difference in QB play to be the deciding factor in this hypothetical game.
Here is how I would rank the championship contenders, with their projected final regular season records:
1) Florida. Even if they lose one game, they have an advantage over other contenders because of the schedule strength that goes hand-in-hand with playing in the SEC. They probably will lose one regular season game, but so will everyone else. Nobody is capable of beating them in the SEC West, so a conference championship seems very tangible. PROJECTED FINISH: 11-1.
2) USC. When Sanchez stumbles for the first time, the opposing team will take advantage. Oregon State? Cal? at Stanford? at UCLA (who will be healthy by then)? They will lose somewhere. 11-1
3) Missouri. That offense is legit. Both Chase Daniels and Jeremy Macklin are Heisman candidates, and while the defense isn't suffocating, it has its fair share of playmakers (such as William Moore at safety). Is this team better than Kansas? Yes. Oklahoma? I don't know. Texas? Probably, but I haven't seen Texas play. Until then I can't really project a record for the Tigers.
4) Oklahoma*. This comes with an asterisk because while they have a superb offense, I haven't really seen their defense. I'm sure it's like it has been in years past- bend, but don't break- meaning someone (Texas? Missouri? Texas Tech?) will break them. 11-1
5) Georgia. Injuries have hurt them, especially on the offensive line, but historically the team gets better as the season moves on. Unfortunately, they won't be better than Florida when they play. 10-2
6) LSU. They have a shot, even in a reloading year, and they will win the SEC West and get to the SEC championship and probably a BCS bowl. They could lose to Florida twice though. 10-2
7) Texas. I don't think they are the 7th best team, but if they can win big games they have a better chance than many. I don't think they'll beat Oklahoma. 10-2
8) Wisconsin. Like Texas, it's about scheduling. If they can get by Penn State and Ohio State, they could finish undefeated, because they are not very susceptible to upsets. And if a team beats Penn State and Ohio State and finishes undefeated, you can't shut them out of the National Championship. Ohio State will beat them, though. 11-1.
Also, there is a very good chance both BYU and Utah will probably be undefeated headed into their matchup. I haven't formulated an opinion about who will win this game, but if the winner is undefeated there will be some debate over their national championship participation.
--I'm a pretty big believer in the Stewart Mandel cyclical conference strength theory. Over the past two years, it's indisputable that the SEC and Big 12 have been the two strongest conferences (so far this year, they account for more than half of the top 25. Wow). In two years however, look out for the ACC. I fully expect Miami to be a top 10 team. Duke, North Carolina, Maryland, Georgia Tech, and Florida State will all improve. Wake Forest, Clemson and Boston College won't fall off. Maybe UVa and Tech will, and NC State will be a bottom feeder still. But overall, it will be a very strong conference, as the Big 12 is now. On the flipside, I can't see Texas Tech, Kansas, or Missouri as top 15 teams two years from now. And in the Pac 10, the gap between USC and the field is widening every year. This is what I foresee the top 15 looking like in two years:
1) USC
2) Ohio State
3) Georgia
4) LSU
5) Oklahoma
6) Miami
7) Alabama
8) Texas
9) Wisconsin
10) Notre Dame
11) Florida
12) Florida State
13) Ole Miss
14) Boise State
15) South Florida
Opinions?
In my opinion, the differences between USC and Ohio State are quarterback play and big play ability. That's it. Ohio State has a defense that includes at least three first round draft picks (DB Malcolm Jenkins, LB's Marcus Freeman and James Lauranitis), but none of them have playmaker skills they way USC's defenders do. USC has game-changing players at each of the three defensive tiers (particularly on the line), as in players who can make tackles for loss, force fumbles, and come up with interceptions. A similar story could be told on the other side of the ball. With Beanie Wells out, USC had four running backs better and more athletic than anyone Ohio State put out there. Damien Williams emerged as a deep threat at receiver. In fact, I would venture a guess that the only USC-level athletes Ohio State has are Wells and Terrelle Pryor. Wells, of course, sat out with injury, and Pryor was inexplicably held out for too many plays. He was their only consistently effective player.
Despite the lopsided score, the game was actually fairly even, at least over the first half. Ohio State had statistical advantages in every category except for scoring. Both had one turnover; Ohio State dominated time of possesion, and had more total offense; they just didn't have the athletes to finish off their drives. Terrelle Pryor also had a very good showing, establishing himself as capable of leading a BCS caliber team. Seeing his outstanding play, and seeing USC chase Boeckman around in the second half, makes me wonder if there's a correlation between OSU's big game flops and Boeckman's shaky QB play. If the Buckeyes can get some sort of consistent quarterback play (perhaps starting Pryor?), I still see them as a top 10 team who perhaps won't lose again all season.
--The only other top team that proved themself unworthy of National Championship discussion was Auburn. Both Auburn and Georgia engaged in hard-fought, defensive battles with lesser SEC foes. But Georgia's 14-7 win is somewhat condonable, because it came against South Carolina, who has a vastly underrated defense. Even the best teams have these close-fought games with good but not elite teams. So long as this is not a regular occurance, I lost not confidence in Georgia (I was actually impressed with their defense), and I fully expect them to dominate Championship pretender Arizona State next week. Auburn, on the other hand, won 3-2 against Mississippi State. If you can't score but 3 points against Mississippi State, you aren't winning much of anything.
-Despite USC's dominance, I still have Florida pegged as my National Champions. Florida has nearly as many weapons as USC, a developing defense, and an O-Line that will both improve over the course of the year. I fully expect them to find a consistent running threat, too. While USC is better overall, the Gators have a quarterback who is not only the best player in the country, but has National Championship experience and big-game poise unmatched by USC slinger Mark Sanchez. Were these two teams to meet in the championship, I fully expect the difference in QB play to be the deciding factor in this hypothetical game.
Here is how I would rank the championship contenders, with their projected final regular season records:
1) Florida. Even if they lose one game, they have an advantage over other contenders because of the schedule strength that goes hand-in-hand with playing in the SEC. They probably will lose one regular season game, but so will everyone else. Nobody is capable of beating them in the SEC West, so a conference championship seems very tangible. PROJECTED FINISH: 11-1.
2) USC. When Sanchez stumbles for the first time, the opposing team will take advantage. Oregon State? Cal? at Stanford? at UCLA (who will be healthy by then)? They will lose somewhere. 11-1
3) Missouri. That offense is legit. Both Chase Daniels and Jeremy Macklin are Heisman candidates, and while the defense isn't suffocating, it has its fair share of playmakers (such as William Moore at safety). Is this team better than Kansas? Yes. Oklahoma? I don't know. Texas? Probably, but I haven't seen Texas play. Until then I can't really project a record for the Tigers.
4) Oklahoma*. This comes with an asterisk because while they have a superb offense, I haven't really seen their defense. I'm sure it's like it has been in years past- bend, but don't break- meaning someone (Texas? Missouri? Texas Tech?) will break them. 11-1
5) Georgia. Injuries have hurt them, especially on the offensive line, but historically the team gets better as the season moves on. Unfortunately, they won't be better than Florida when they play. 10-2
6) LSU. They have a shot, even in a reloading year, and they will win the SEC West and get to the SEC championship and probably a BCS bowl. They could lose to Florida twice though. 10-2
7) Texas. I don't think they are the 7th best team, but if they can win big games they have a better chance than many. I don't think they'll beat Oklahoma. 10-2
8) Wisconsin. Like Texas, it's about scheduling. If they can get by Penn State and Ohio State, they could finish undefeated, because they are not very susceptible to upsets. And if a team beats Penn State and Ohio State and finishes undefeated, you can't shut them out of the National Championship. Ohio State will beat them, though. 11-1.
Also, there is a very good chance both BYU and Utah will probably be undefeated headed into their matchup. I haven't formulated an opinion about who will win this game, but if the winner is undefeated there will be some debate over their national championship participation.
--I'm a pretty big believer in the Stewart Mandel cyclical conference strength theory. Over the past two years, it's indisputable that the SEC and Big 12 have been the two strongest conferences (so far this year, they account for more than half of the top 25. Wow). In two years however, look out for the ACC. I fully expect Miami to be a top 10 team. Duke, North Carolina, Maryland, Georgia Tech, and Florida State will all improve. Wake Forest, Clemson and Boston College won't fall off. Maybe UVa and Tech will, and NC State will be a bottom feeder still. But overall, it will be a very strong conference, as the Big 12 is now. On the flipside, I can't see Texas Tech, Kansas, or Missouri as top 15 teams two years from now. And in the Pac 10, the gap between USC and the field is widening every year. This is what I foresee the top 15 looking like in two years:
1) USC
2) Ohio State
3) Georgia
4) LSU
5) Oklahoma
6) Miami
7) Alabama
8) Texas
9) Wisconsin
10) Notre Dame
11) Florida
12) Florida State
13) Ole Miss
14) Boise State
15) South Florida
Opinions?
Sorting out Sunday
Hey gang. Here with those NFL picks for tomorrow:
-Chicago v. Carolina - Unfortunately, Brian Urlacher hasn't been deployed at quarterback yet this season. Leading me to believe Chicago will again play with no quarterback and, resultingly, a ten-man offense. Panthers 23, Bears 7
-Tennessee v. Cincinnati- This is as close to prison football as it gets. I'm still unclear as to why the Bengals didn't sign Rae Carruth to help shore up their receiving corps. Titans 19, Bengals 10
-Green Bay v. Detroit- Imagine my delight when Darren Woodson says his receiver of the week will be Calvin Johnson. With a good game, perhaps I can use him to acquire Andre Johnson, who is actually good. Lions 24, Packers 14
-Buffalo v. Jacksonville- The Bills' special teams and defense easily outscore their offense on a weekly basis. This week they willl also outscore the Jaguars defense, unless of course Fred Taylor hits some linemen over the head with liqour bottles. Bills 21, Jaguars 7
-Oakland v. Kansas City- It's an impacting game for me, depending how many carries Darren McDaniels gets. I think I'm just going to refer to him as McDaniels for the rest of the season in homage to Emmitt. Raiders 21, Chiefs 20
-Indianapolis v. Minnesota- Emmitt's Take: "This game is a very big game. The team that win this game have to play hard all sixty minutes, or two hours, so to speak. Adrian Peterman have to carry the team on his shoulders, which mean he need to have good balance. Peyton Manning and Rudy Wayne must has a good...no...well...connection, which I can see happening." Thank you, Emmitt. Colts 28, Vikings 21
-New York Giants v. St. Louis- I'm pretty sure I could win the game if I played the St. Louis Rams. Giants 155, Rams -23
-New Orleans v. Washington- Fantasy Football Deity Drew Brees takes on the powerful Redskins defense. Er, powerful might not be a good word. How about they take on London Fletcher, a dancer, and 9 other guys? But with my man Justin Samson in the stands, the Redskins have a little magic and pull out the home V. Redskins 23, Saints 21
-San Francisco v. Seattle- Lofa Tatupu is the man. I see a 32 tackle game for him. Vernon Davis is pretty much San Francisco's only real threat, but every time out of his three point stance, instead of running his routes, he stands up after two steps and says "Click. Clack." Seahawks 35, Niners 0
-Atlanta v. Tampa Bay- Now that Jeff Garcia is bench, The Falcons D will mob Tampa's greasy quarterback Brian Griese. Perhaps Michael Turner can bust out another 200 yard game. Falcons 20, Bucaneers 6
-Miami v. Arizona- I'm pretty much apathetic to the whole football aspect of this game. I want to see if a) Ricky Williams can get charged with possession of marijuana when you are actually in the game (and if its a 5-, 10-, or 15-yard penalty), and b) if Matt Leinart develops into the not-so-good, desert version of Chris Cooley in terms of relations with cheerleaders. Dolphins more, Cardinals, less, My level of concern even less
-San Diego v. Denver- Denver will win 12 games this year. I'm convinced. Perhaps they might even win the division. This is actually a serious prediction. Broncos 27, Chargers 17
-New England v. New York Jets- Tom Brady throws for 342 yards and 3 touchd- what?? he's out for the season? THEN WHY DID YAHOO DRAFT HIM ONTO MY TEAM. Cassell holds his own and Moss hauls in a touchdown. Pats 28, Jets 10
-Pittsburgh v. Cleveland- Brady Quinn could be the best backup quarterback in the NFL. Unfortunately for Poop fans, Derek Anderson might be amongst the worst. Jamal Lewis gets completely shut down by LaMarr Woodley and Co., Slick Willie Parker slides into the end zone on several occasions. Steelers 28, Browns 10
-Philadelphia v. Dallas- Ideas for Terrell Owens' latest celebration: imitation of Michael Phelps, Alley-oop-to-self dunk over the goal post, running up to McNabb with hand outstretched seeking daps. McNabb gets chased silly by the 'Boys defense all day. MBIII has 2 touchdowns, and Jessica Simpson is not persecuted by Cowboys fans even though her music sucks. Cowboys 35, Eagles 17
-Baltimore v. Houston- Houston is only three games out of the Wild Card. Hunter Pence and Roy Oswalt both qualify for "Officially On Fire" status. Lance Berkman is a rabid hyena, slobbering all over opposing pitchers. The football team is not that good. Maybe Andre Johnson should use the JUGS machine as his quarterback and just go deep every time. Ravens 17, Texans 7
Truth be told, I am much more enthralled with the collegiate lineup this weekend. The Maryland game is going swimmingly so far (so long as you are not a Berkeley resident or student). USC wins tonight in the C*llision at the C*lliseum. I feel so dirty just saying that phrase.
Also, Houston storms back to make the playoffs. 'Stros before Hos.
-Chicago v. Carolina - Unfortunately, Brian Urlacher hasn't been deployed at quarterback yet this season. Leading me to believe Chicago will again play with no quarterback and, resultingly, a ten-man offense. Panthers 23, Bears 7
-Tennessee v. Cincinnati- This is as close to prison football as it gets. I'm still unclear as to why the Bengals didn't sign Rae Carruth to help shore up their receiving corps. Titans 19, Bengals 10
-Green Bay v. Detroit- Imagine my delight when Darren Woodson says his receiver of the week will be Calvin Johnson. With a good game, perhaps I can use him to acquire Andre Johnson, who is actually good. Lions 24, Packers 14
-Buffalo v. Jacksonville- The Bills' special teams and defense easily outscore their offense on a weekly basis. This week they willl also outscore the Jaguars defense, unless of course Fred Taylor hits some linemen over the head with liqour bottles. Bills 21, Jaguars 7
-Oakland v. Kansas City- It's an impacting game for me, depending how many carries Darren McDaniels gets. I think I'm just going to refer to him as McDaniels for the rest of the season in homage to Emmitt. Raiders 21, Chiefs 20
-Indianapolis v. Minnesota- Emmitt's Take: "This game is a very big game. The team that win this game have to play hard all sixty minutes, or two hours, so to speak. Adrian Peterman have to carry the team on his shoulders, which mean he need to have good balance. Peyton Manning and Rudy Wayne must has a good...no...well...connection, which I can see happening." Thank you, Emmitt. Colts 28, Vikings 21
-New York Giants v. St. Louis- I'm pretty sure I could win the game if I played the St. Louis Rams. Giants 155, Rams -23
-New Orleans v. Washington- Fantasy Football Deity Drew Brees takes on the powerful Redskins defense. Er, powerful might not be a good word. How about they take on London Fletcher, a dancer, and 9 other guys? But with my man Justin Samson in the stands, the Redskins have a little magic and pull out the home V. Redskins 23, Saints 21
-San Francisco v. Seattle- Lofa Tatupu is the man. I see a 32 tackle game for him. Vernon Davis is pretty much San Francisco's only real threat, but every time out of his three point stance, instead of running his routes, he stands up after two steps and says "Click. Clack." Seahawks 35, Niners 0
-Atlanta v. Tampa Bay- Now that Jeff Garcia is bench, The Falcons D will mob Tampa's greasy quarterback Brian Griese. Perhaps Michael Turner can bust out another 200 yard game. Falcons 20, Bucaneers 6
-Miami v. Arizona- I'm pretty much apathetic to the whole football aspect of this game. I want to see if a) Ricky Williams can get charged with possession of marijuana when you are actually in the game (and if its a 5-, 10-, or 15-yard penalty), and b) if Matt Leinart develops into the not-so-good, desert version of Chris Cooley in terms of relations with cheerleaders. Dolphins more, Cardinals, less, My level of concern even less
-San Diego v. Denver- Denver will win 12 games this year. I'm convinced. Perhaps they might even win the division. This is actually a serious prediction. Broncos 27, Chargers 17
-New England v. New York Jets- Tom Brady throws for 342 yards and 3 touchd- what?? he's out for the season? THEN WHY DID YAHOO DRAFT HIM ONTO MY TEAM. Cassell holds his own and Moss hauls in a touchdown. Pats 28, Jets 10
-Pittsburgh v. Cleveland- Brady Quinn could be the best backup quarterback in the NFL. Unfortunately for Poop fans, Derek Anderson might be amongst the worst. Jamal Lewis gets completely shut down by LaMarr Woodley and Co., Slick Willie Parker slides into the end zone on several occasions. Steelers 28, Browns 10
-Philadelphia v. Dallas- Ideas for Terrell Owens' latest celebration: imitation of Michael Phelps, Alley-oop-to-self dunk over the goal post, running up to McNabb with hand outstretched seeking daps. McNabb gets chased silly by the 'Boys defense all day. MBIII has 2 touchdowns, and Jessica Simpson is not persecuted by Cowboys fans even though her music sucks. Cowboys 35, Eagles 17
-Baltimore v. Houston- Houston is only three games out of the Wild Card. Hunter Pence and Roy Oswalt both qualify for "Officially On Fire" status. Lance Berkman is a rabid hyena, slobbering all over opposing pitchers. The football team is not that good. Maybe Andre Johnson should use the JUGS machine as his quarterback and just go deep every time. Ravens 17, Texans 7
Truth be told, I am much more enthralled with the collegiate lineup this weekend. The Maryland game is going swimmingly so far (so long as you are not a Berkeley resident or student). USC wins tonight in the C*llision at the C*lliseum. I feel so dirty just saying that phrase.
Also, Houston storms back to make the playoffs. 'Stros before Hos.
Turns Out Everyone Who Works at Target is a Filthy Liar
I say this, because, "battery sold separately" usually implies that you must buy the battery and the object it powers with separate purchases, or at least two distinguishable items within the same purchase. So either the Redshirts lied, were clueless, or were pretty much apathetic about my whole battery situation, because the battery did come with the camera (but in "separate" packaging. Tricky).
I guess based on my own experience in the service industry, your only real option for entertaining yourself is acting at others' or your own expense. Target doesn't provide ample opportunity to toss ice cream into a cup, sing horrific songs, or recreate the 1993 NBA Finals in the checkout line. Whenever we did that at Cold Stone, I was ALWAYS John Paxson. For those of you who don't know the legend of the 1993 NBA Finals, that means I drained the basketball (or Birthday Cake Remix) and stared down whoever was standing next to me (Hopefully not Tobe, who is an ex-con frozen-desserts-server-turned-Marine).
So I guess at Target, the entertainment comes from deluding, beguiling, and confusing customers to the point where they just buy whatever the heck you're pitching them so they don't have to hear your ramblings about megapixels and PMP and return policies. Shooooooo, that's what I did. Threw down a buck fifty (as in $150, not $1.50. That's how much I spent me on two packs of Orbit). You could argue that they cost themselves the opportunity to rip me off even further, by selling me some batteries that I so badly desired. I would have been game for it too, because I had no idea what kind of batteries my techno-trinket took. But I also know that you could sell an Airplane or you could sell an Anteater, and you'd still make the same lousy hourly wage. (No, the airplanes-and-anteaters juxtaposition is, sadly, not an SD original. A professor actually used it. Quirky.)
Anyways, this gizmo is wicked capable. First and foremost, it has an hi-def video recorder. It can take beautiful pictures and voice record as well. In tandem with the memory card I purchased (maybe those Target guys didn't do so bad pushing product after all), I can elicit some combination of 70 minutes of video and 384 snapshots. It can also zoom in and out.
This is the first picture ever taken on this black beauty. Not really anything ritzy, just my dorm setup. I mean I'm not going to go outside on a Friday night in Gangstaville, VA, all by my lonely, with a camcorder. Carmelo Anthony and the Stop Snitchin' campaign would probably frown upon that. So I captured the spot "where the magic happens." If magic happening means sheets not getting washed. Those little red organisms on my sheeting happen to be lobsters in case you were wondering. The Tostitos bag also snuck in to make a cameo appearance in the inaugural photograph.
And congrats to the USF Bulls tonight, for roaring back and knocking off Kansas with a time-expiring, game-winning field goal from their kicker, Frodo Baggins. Seriously, he was like my size.
Contrastingly, South Florida Defensive End/Office Linebacker George Selvie is a complete monster. Though not quite the monster my mom will be this weekend because her alma mater suffered the angush of defeat. I picked a really bad weekend to ask her about taking that Utah trip. Good thing I'm 100 miles away. Good thing she's a muggle and can't Apparate here as well.
There's George (95) and his Lamanite friends!
Come back tomorrow (later today) for NFL predictions. Out.
EDITOR'S NOTE: My mom actually went to Tulsa, not KU. Tulsa just sucks at sports so she pretends like she went to Kansas during football and basketball season.
I guess based on my own experience in the service industry, your only real option for entertaining yourself is acting at others' or your own expense. Target doesn't provide ample opportunity to toss ice cream into a cup, sing horrific songs, or recreate the 1993 NBA Finals in the checkout line. Whenever we did that at Cold Stone, I was ALWAYS John Paxson. For those of you who don't know the legend of the 1993 NBA Finals, that means I drained the basketball (or Birthday Cake Remix) and stared down whoever was standing next to me (Hopefully not Tobe, who is an ex-con frozen-desserts-server-turned-Marine).
So I guess at Target, the entertainment comes from deluding, beguiling, and confusing customers to the point where they just buy whatever the heck you're pitching them so they don't have to hear your ramblings about megapixels and PMP and return policies. Shooooooo, that's what I did. Threw down a buck fifty (as in $150, not $1.50. That's how much I spent me on two packs of Orbit). You could argue that they cost themselves the opportunity to rip me off even further, by selling me some batteries that I so badly desired. I would have been game for it too, because I had no idea what kind of batteries my techno-trinket took. But I also know that you could sell an Airplane or you could sell an Anteater, and you'd still make the same lousy hourly wage. (No, the airplanes-and-anteaters juxtaposition is, sadly, not an SD original. A professor actually used it. Quirky.)
Anyways, this gizmo is wicked capable. First and foremost, it has an hi-def video recorder. It can take beautiful pictures and voice record as well. In tandem with the memory card I purchased (maybe those Target guys didn't do so bad pushing product after all), I can elicit some combination of 70 minutes of video and 384 snapshots. It can also zoom in and out.
This is the first picture ever taken on this black beauty. Not really anything ritzy, just my dorm setup. I mean I'm not going to go outside on a Friday night in Gangstaville, VA, all by my lonely, with a camcorder. Carmelo Anthony and the Stop Snitchin' campaign would probably frown upon that. So I captured the spot "where the magic happens." If magic happening means sheets not getting washed. Those little red organisms on my sheeting happen to be lobsters in case you were wondering. The Tostitos bag also snuck in to make a cameo appearance in the inaugural photograph.And congrats to the USF Bulls tonight, for roaring back and knocking off Kansas with a time-expiring, game-winning field goal from their kicker, Frodo Baggins. Seriously, he was like my size.
Contrastingly, South Florida Defensive End/Office Linebacker George Selvie is a complete monster. Though not quite the monster my mom will be this weekend because her alma mater suffered the angush of defeat. I picked a really bad weekend to ask her about taking that Utah trip. Good thing I'm 100 miles away. Good thing she's a muggle and can't Apparate here as well.
There's George (95) and his Lamanite friends!Come back tomorrow (later today) for NFL predictions. Out.
EDITOR'S NOTE: My mom actually went to Tulsa, not KU. Tulsa just sucks at sports so she pretends like she went to Kansas during football and basketball season.
Friday, September 12, 2008
All Good Things Must Come to an End
And my 100% class attendance was one of those things. "The Streak," as it came to be known as in room 216 (aka me and my roommate), was snapped at 40 consecutive classes. Ironically, this comes one day after Chris Cooley's five year string of consecutive practices came to its conclusion. I have even more respect for Cal Ripken now. How could I miss class and end this streak so abruptly? 40 classes pales in comparison to the 2,000+ consecutive games Ripken played. But c'mon now. Let's put things in perspective. Most years anyone has been a United States President in a row? 12. Most gold medals won by one swimmer in the Beijing Olympics? 8. So I'd say 40 is pretty freaking good.
Now, this was no intentionally skipped class. What, do you think it's senior year of high school or something? No, I wouldn't skip Chemistry on purpose (because Ms. Weber doesn't teach it). I had the misfortune of oversleeping. I woke up at 12:22, realized I was screwed, so I just blogged showered and went and took a math test. Which went marginally well. If you place it in tandem with the 33/30 on the quiz I got back today, I'd say it elicited a good amount of satisfaction.
Breakfast (at 2:15 P.M.) was sizzling- literally, because I had ribs, which is the tightest thing ever. My roommate went home for the weekend (I guess I won't be hearing any freestyle rapping...sigh...), so I had the room to myself. On top of that, I discover there is a Rays game on ESPN tonight!!! SO stoked. And then I'm on the phone with Kristen (she's not engaged yet, so I guess we're still getting married!!!) and watching Law and Order on mute, and there is a gay rights rally outside of the courtroom. What followed, as Andrew Schroth would say, was "they came to blows." Cop slugged an activist right in the grill. Mass chaos ensued. Sick.
The day went downhill from there, as I had to go lift. I hate nagging injuries, because they hurt worse than actual injuries but if you complain about them everyone says you're a pussy. So even though my left quad/groin feels like it's going to rip in two, I squatted/Quadzilla'd/Air Alerted anyways. Amazing leg workout. Amongst other stuff. I'm not entirely sure it's healthy. The 156 minute workout went something like this:
-Bench, 135x5, 175x5 (4 sets), 185x6, 185x4, 175x5, 135x12
-Squat, 275x4 (4 sets), 285x4 (4 sets), 295x4 (4 sets), 315x4 (4 sets)
-Quadzillas, 135 lbs, 40 reps, 29 reps, 24 reps
-Air Alert week 4 day 3
-shoulder 21's 3 sets 15 lbs
-dips (extra deep) 3x10
-bicep curls 3x8 35 lbs
-situps 2x50
And what resulted was a massive body ache. You know that IcyHot commercial with Shaq where his lower back is in a knot? That's me. Plus, left quad, both shoulders, right ankle, right knee, left elbow, upper abs....all killing me.... it sucks. Upon returning to my domicile, to add insult to injury (or is it injury to insult? I can never quite recall), I find that the Rays game is RAINED OUT!!! How much does that suck? About as much as the Yankees would have sucked if the game was actually played. There is some consolation though, Kansas vs. South Florida is on ESPN2 and I am a South Florida fan, being Facebook friends with Matt Grothe and all. KU is looking pretty good thus far, they actually have a pretty nasty D and I'm picking them to win the Big12 North over Missouri for that reason. YES! PBP announcer just now said "and Maier gets banged out of bounds." Hahahaha that's what she said.
Matt Grothe you are lookin' very sexy.
Just not tonight when you are getting sacked multiple times.
Also, if I hear the OSU-USC game referred to as the "Collision in the Coliseum" one more time, I will... refer to it as something else. That's not even a catchy, marketable name. It takes too long to say and it elicits thoughts of chariot races in ancient Rome. USC wins, 27-7
Now, this was no intentionally skipped class. What, do you think it's senior year of high school or something? No, I wouldn't skip Chemistry on purpose (because Ms. Weber doesn't teach it). I had the misfortune of oversleeping. I woke up at 12:22, realized I was screwed, so I just blogged showered and went and took a math test. Which went marginally well. If you place it in tandem with the 33/30 on the quiz I got back today, I'd say it elicited a good amount of satisfaction.
Breakfast (at 2:15 P.M.) was sizzling- literally, because I had ribs, which is the tightest thing ever. My roommate went home for the weekend (I guess I won't be hearing any freestyle rapping...sigh...), so I had the room to myself. On top of that, I discover there is a Rays game on ESPN tonight!!! SO stoked. And then I'm on the phone with Kristen (she's not engaged yet, so I guess we're still getting married!!!) and watching Law and Order on mute, and there is a gay rights rally outside of the courtroom. What followed, as Andrew Schroth would say, was "they came to blows." Cop slugged an activist right in the grill. Mass chaos ensued. Sick.
The day went downhill from there, as I had to go lift. I hate nagging injuries, because they hurt worse than actual injuries but if you complain about them everyone says you're a pussy. So even though my left quad/groin feels like it's going to rip in two, I squatted/Quadzilla'd/Air Alerted anyways. Amazing leg workout. Amongst other stuff. I'm not entirely sure it's healthy. The 156 minute workout went something like this:
-Bench, 135x5, 175x5 (4 sets), 185x6, 185x4, 175x5, 135x12
-Squat, 275x4 (4 sets), 285x4 (4 sets), 295x4 (4 sets), 315x4 (4 sets)
-Quadzillas, 135 lbs, 40 reps, 29 reps, 24 reps
-Air Alert week 4 day 3
-shoulder 21's 3 sets 15 lbs
-dips (extra deep) 3x10
-bicep curls 3x8 35 lbs
-situps 2x50
And what resulted was a massive body ache. You know that IcyHot commercial with Shaq where his lower back is in a knot? That's me. Plus, left quad, both shoulders, right ankle, right knee, left elbow, upper abs....all killing me.... it sucks. Upon returning to my domicile, to add insult to injury (or is it injury to insult? I can never quite recall), I find that the Rays game is RAINED OUT!!! How much does that suck? About as much as the Yankees would have sucked if the game was actually played. There is some consolation though, Kansas vs. South Florida is on ESPN2 and I am a South Florida fan, being Facebook friends with Matt Grothe and all. KU is looking pretty good thus far, they actually have a pretty nasty D and I'm picking them to win the Big12 North over Missouri for that reason. YES! PBP announcer just now said "and Maier gets banged out of bounds." Hahahaha that's what she said.
Matt Grothe you are lookin' very sexy.
Just not tonight when you are getting sacked multiple times.
Also, if I hear the OSU-USC game referred to as the "Collision in the Coliseum" one more time, I will... refer to it as something else. That's not even a catchy, marketable name. It takes too long to say and it elicits thoughts of chariot races in ancient Rome. USC wins, 27-7
What's Your Fanta-ta-sy?
Yes, my fantasy football draft was pretty ludicrous. After spending a good hour, hour and a half meticulously pre-ranking my players, I was feeling very good heading into the season. I had my first six rounds planned out perfectly, and the road to my third consecutive fantasy football championship had been paved.
Only Yahoo! didn't agree. Yahoo!'s draft system went down the Crapper!, I was Screwed! because I had only lazily pre-ranked the players on Yahoo!, instead preferring to use a Word! document. If the ! after Yahoo! is meant to create excitement, it failed, at least the night of the draft. So I get a phone call from one Alex Haugh saying "you just drafted Tom Brady with your first round pick." After he was out for the season. After I placed him on line numero uno under the "DO NOT DRAFT" category. Yeah, Marion Barber was still on the table, as was Frank Gore, not to mention EVERY SINGLE OTHER QUARTERBACK. Yahoo! obviously felt Brady is so God-like he could dominate the competition with one functional ACL (hey, he didn't tear his PCL did he?).
SO here's the end result of this fiasco:
It's only this pretty because I made some quick on the fly adjustments. Picked up Hasselbeck, dropped Heath Miller. Picked up LJ Smith, dropped Kyle Orton. Picked up Michael Jenkins, dropped Jerrius Norwood. Picked up Chris Perry, which, it brings tears to my eyes, forced me to cut Darren McDaniels, the rookie sensation out of Arkansas. Hey, this league didn't have a "kids fathered" statistic (otherwise, McFadden would still be my backup, and I would have bailed Travis Henry out of jail to be my starter). The only thing respectable that happened out of this draft was the Pittsburgh D. So I guess I had a better draft than Matt Millen because Detroit still doesn't have a D.
Also, we're playing with defensive players this year, a foreign concept to many. But I was able to snatch every single second-tier free agent because when Yahoo (I refuse to share the excitement anymore, no more exclamation) picks the defensive players, it picks studs such as Stuart Schwaggert, a backup safety, for instance. So I was able to pick up J-Beast (ex-Hurricane), Freeney, Justin Tuck, Chris Gamble, and DeMeco Ryans. Success.
Now, hopefully some of these guys can put up some flukishly good stats in Week One (actually Week Two for everybody else), so I can actually have some credibility when I make these ridiculous trade offers (I got shot down eleven times in one week. Eleven!!! It's like Ben Wallace shooting free throws), maybe one or two of them will go through.
Anyways, I figure I'd offer three of the ten Fantasy Football Commandments that I have, for your benefit:
1) Thou who haveth Drew Brees shall winneth the Championship. It's not even a question.eth.
2) Thou who drafteth a kicker is doomed for extinction, because I just sign a new kicker every week so why should I waste a draft pick? Pick a running back.
3) Check your team. It's usually helpful.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I guess I didn't cut McFadden after all. I was just trying to drop another Emmitt reference. It worked??????
Only Yahoo! didn't agree. Yahoo!'s draft system went down the Crapper!, I was Screwed! because I had only lazily pre-ranked the players on Yahoo!, instead preferring to use a Word! document. If the ! after Yahoo! is meant to create excitement, it failed, at least the night of the draft. So I get a phone call from one Alex Haugh saying "you just drafted Tom Brady with your first round pick." After he was out for the season. After I placed him on line numero uno under the "DO NOT DRAFT" category. Yeah, Marion Barber was still on the table, as was Frank Gore, not to mention EVERY SINGLE OTHER QUARTERBACK. Yahoo! obviously felt Brady is so God-like he could dominate the competition with one functional ACL (hey, he didn't tear his PCL did he?).
SO here's the end result of this fiasco:
It's only this pretty because I made some quick on the fly adjustments. Picked up Hasselbeck, dropped Heath Miller. Picked up LJ Smith, dropped Kyle Orton. Picked up Michael Jenkins, dropped Jerrius Norwood. Picked up Chris Perry, which, it brings tears to my eyes, forced me to cut Darren McDaniels, the rookie sensation out of Arkansas. Hey, this league didn't have a "kids fathered" statistic (otherwise, McFadden would still be my backup, and I would have bailed Travis Henry out of jail to be my starter). The only thing respectable that happened out of this draft was the Pittsburgh D. So I guess I had a better draft than Matt Millen because Detroit still doesn't have a D.
Also, we're playing with defensive players this year, a foreign concept to many. But I was able to snatch every single second-tier free agent because when Yahoo (I refuse to share the excitement anymore, no more exclamation) picks the defensive players, it picks studs such as Stuart Schwaggert, a backup safety, for instance. So I was able to pick up J-Beast (ex-Hurricane), Freeney, Justin Tuck, Chris Gamble, and DeMeco Ryans. Success.
Now, hopefully some of these guys can put up some flukishly good stats in Week One (actually Week Two for everybody else), so I can actually have some credibility when I make these ridiculous trade offers (I got shot down eleven times in one week. Eleven!!! It's like Ben Wallace shooting free throws), maybe one or two of them will go through.
Anyways, I figure I'd offer three of the ten Fantasy Football Commandments that I have, for your benefit:
1) Thou who haveth Drew Brees shall winneth the Championship. It's not even a question.eth.
2) Thou who drafteth a kicker is doomed for extinction, because I just sign a new kicker every week so why should I waste a draft pick? Pick a running back.
3) Check your team. It's usually helpful.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I guess I didn't cut McFadden after all. I was just trying to drop another Emmitt reference. It worked??????
Thursday, September 11, 2008
It's On
Tonight was a clear success. Not only did I take an absolutely Heaven-like four hour nap. Not only did I have Chipotle for dinner.
I bought a camcorder. I hit the motherload.
We have already started conspiring, coordinating our attacks and refining our strategies. A Target trip will be required to obtain a 5V battery so the camera can function. But that can happen tomorrow, along with a supply run to Wal-Mart and Commons. We already have some early inspiration, but there will be lots of originality, I assure you. By the end of the year, no stone will be left unturned.
Let the games begin. Justin Samson... check your sandals before you step into them.
Working Out on 2 Hours of Sleep isn't that Awesome
Yeah, I'm dead now. I got nothing. Maybe a nice long nap will invigorate me. We shall see.
Here's that playlist:
1) The Way You Love Me- Faith Hill
2) Viva La Vida- Boyce Avenue (Coldplay cover)
3) High- Feeder
4) Isolate- Bender
5) A Perfectly Good Heart- Taylor Swift
6) West Coast- Coconut Records
7) Hey Hey What Can I Do- Led Zeppelin
8) Everything Changes- Little Big Town
9) Not Enough- Boyce Avenue
10) Busy Being Fabulous- Eagles
11) Already Gone- Sugarland
12) Best I Ever Had- Vertical Horizon
13) The Little Things- Colbie Caillat
14) Mexico- Brandtson
15) Don't Waste My Time- Little Big Town
16) Santa Monica- Everclear
17) Wonderful- Everclear
18) Her Eyes- Pat Monahan
19) Wonderwall- Oasis
Enjoy. Out
Here's that playlist:
1) The Way You Love Me- Faith Hill
2) Viva La Vida- Boyce Avenue (Coldplay cover)
3) High- Feeder
4) Isolate- Bender
5) A Perfectly Good Heart- Taylor Swift
6) West Coast- Coconut Records
7) Hey Hey What Can I Do- Led Zeppelin
8) Everything Changes- Little Big Town
9) Not Enough- Boyce Avenue
10) Busy Being Fabulous- Eagles
11) Already Gone- Sugarland
12) Best I Ever Had- Vertical Horizon
13) The Little Things- Colbie Caillat
14) Mexico- Brandtson
15) Don't Waste My Time- Little Big Town
16) Santa Monica- Everclear
17) Wonderful- Everclear
18) Her Eyes- Pat Monahan
19) Wonderwall- Oasis
Enjoy. Out
Carlos Freaking Pena!!!!!!!!
What an amazing game. Rays pulled it out in 21 innings I think, 7-4. The hero? Carlos Pena of course, who else? Every other regular starter is on the DL. I'm so proud of them, as if they were my own kids. Of course they probably could be, none of them are old enough to drink or drive or walk or anything. My guess? All the players spawned from Percival's extramarital affairs. Seriously, it's a bunch of rookies, Pena, Percival and Floyd who are like 45. "Cliff Floyd is such a G." Yeah, if G is for Grandpa.
Anyways, this game is noteworthy not only because the Rays extended their AL East lead to a robust 2.5 games (I've always wanted a pennant race to be decided by half a game, and see two teams go at it mono y mono for four and a half innings. Never works out that way), but also because this game was chalk full of nuggets. Unlike the NBA playoffs, which had no Nuggets. ZING.
*David Ortiz just entertained me in general. First of all with that beard he looks like some sort of hybrid between Greg Oden, Orlando Pace, and Deebo. Second of all, that bunt, when's the last time he sac bunted? And it kept Stuart Scott from singing "Big Poppa" on Sportscenter. But topping them both would be his 3-0, fake-bunt-Usain-Bolt-sprint-toward-the-dugout-take on the ball four pitch. Almost looked like a Heisman pose. Classic, I actually laughed.
*This game lasted over 5 hours. I started watching in the 6th inning. Within that time period, I: worked out, had an hour-long phone conversation, did homework, BLOGGED, used facebook, proposed two fantasy football trades, ate dinner, made my bed. Didn't miss a second of the game.
*Rick Sutcliffe might have won a Cy Young but he sure ain't winning any [whatever the award for being a good comedian is].
PBP: "If the game last night was their most important victory of the year, what is tonight?"
George Carlin of Baseball: "Well in 11 minutes it won't be called tonight."
Hahaha. Except the time was 11:39. Not the Pythagoras of the baseball world either, I suppose. Rick is to math what Emmitt Smith is to English.
*And while I'm thinking about it, Sutcliffe also uttered his spiel about CC's Cy Young chances: "I think you have to factor in what he did in both leagues. His overall numbers don't say Cy Young winner to me." I'm paraphrasing but not exxagerating. Wait a sec. If I remember correctly, Rick won a Cy Young after switching leagues midseason. Well I'm sure his OVERALL numbers were pretty good, lets check out what he did in Cleveland, before he got traded:
94.3 IP, 46:58 BB:SO Ratio, 1.66 WHIP, all good for a 4-5 record with a 5.15 ERA.
After he got traded to Chicago aka took his Gas-X, he did go 16-1 with a 2.69 ERA. Let's check CC:
122.3 IP, 34:123 BB:SO Ratio, 1.23 WHIP, good for a 6-8 record with a 3.83 ERA
Post-trade: 9-0, 1.42 ERA, 0.99 WHIP, 20:94 BB:SO ratio
Rick Sutcliffe saying CC doesn't deserve a Cy Young is like GWB telling Yale not to accept legacies. "That isn't....ain't...right." You tell 'em Emmitt.
*In addition to their great record, the Rays have a top-tier team in terms of coolest names. Rocco Baldelli? Rock on. Ben Zobrist? The Z is just magic I guess. Z as in Scott KaZZZZZmir or Matt GarZZZZZa. Akinori Iwamura, who is Japanese. Only like a C+ for Japanese standards though, not as good as Sasaki or Suzuki or Sushi or Chiropractor. I'm pretty sure they have a minor leaguer named Blitzkrieg too. BJ Upton.... I'm not gonna touch that one, not actually that cool. And the most unfortunate name, relief pitcher Grant Ball4 (I think it's actually spelled Balfour. Still, a cruelly ironic name for a pitcher.)
So I guess they don't have that great of a name game team. But Boof Bonser is a free agent, as is Benny Agbayani. There is hope.
Sorry for that long post. I've also been working on a sweet playlist, I'll post it tomorrow for the benefit of the four people who read this blog. Including my mom. Yes, I made my bed, mom.
Anyways, this game is noteworthy not only because the Rays extended their AL East lead to a robust 2.5 games (I've always wanted a pennant race to be decided by half a game, and see two teams go at it mono y mono for four and a half innings. Never works out that way), but also because this game was chalk full of nuggets. Unlike the NBA playoffs, which had no Nuggets. ZING.
*David Ortiz just entertained me in general. First of all with that beard he looks like some sort of hybrid between Greg Oden, Orlando Pace, and Deebo. Second of all, that bunt, when's the last time he sac bunted? And it kept Stuart Scott from singing "Big Poppa" on Sportscenter. But topping them both would be his 3-0, fake-bunt-Usain-Bolt-sprint-toward-the-dugout-take on the ball four pitch. Almost looked like a Heisman pose. Classic, I actually laughed.
*This game lasted over 5 hours. I started watching in the 6th inning. Within that time period, I: worked out, had an hour-long phone conversation, did homework, BLOGGED, used facebook, proposed two fantasy football trades, ate dinner, made my bed. Didn't miss a second of the game.
*Rick Sutcliffe might have won a Cy Young but he sure ain't winning any [whatever the award for being a good comedian is].
PBP: "If the game last night was their most important victory of the year, what is tonight?"
George Carlin of Baseball: "Well in 11 minutes it won't be called tonight."
Hahaha. Except the time was 11:39. Not the Pythagoras of the baseball world either, I suppose. Rick is to math what Emmitt Smith is to English.
*And while I'm thinking about it, Sutcliffe also uttered his spiel about CC's Cy Young chances: "I think you have to factor in what he did in both leagues. His overall numbers don't say Cy Young winner to me." I'm paraphrasing but not exxagerating. Wait a sec. If I remember correctly, Rick won a Cy Young after switching leagues midseason. Well I'm sure his OVERALL numbers were pretty good, lets check out what he did in Cleveland, before he got traded:
94.3 IP, 46:58 BB:SO Ratio, 1.66 WHIP, all good for a 4-5 record with a 5.15 ERA.
After he got traded to Chicago aka took his Gas-X, he did go 16-1 with a 2.69 ERA. Let's check CC:
122.3 IP, 34:123 BB:SO Ratio, 1.23 WHIP, good for a 6-8 record with a 3.83 ERA
Post-trade: 9-0, 1.42 ERA, 0.99 WHIP, 20:94 BB:SO ratio
Rick Sutcliffe saying CC doesn't deserve a Cy Young is like GWB telling Yale not to accept legacies. "That isn't....ain't...right." You tell 'em Emmitt.
*In addition to their great record, the Rays have a top-tier team in terms of coolest names. Rocco Baldelli? Rock on. Ben Zobrist? The Z is just magic I guess. Z as in Scott KaZZZZZmir or Matt GarZZZZZa. Akinori Iwamura, who is Japanese. Only like a C+ for Japanese standards though, not as good as Sasaki or Suzuki or Sushi or Chiropractor. I'm pretty sure they have a minor leaguer named Blitzkrieg too. BJ Upton.... I'm not gonna touch that one, not actually that cool. And the most unfortunate name, relief pitcher Grant Ball4 (I think it's actually spelled Balfour. Still, a cruelly ironic name for a pitcher.)
So I guess they don't have that great of a name game team. But Boof Bonser is a free agent, as is Benny Agbayani. There is hope.
Sorry for that long post. I've also been working on a sweet playlist, I'll post it tomorrow for the benefit of the four people who read this blog. Including my mom. Yes, I made my bed, mom.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Is a Quadruple Negative a Positive?
So after staying up until 6 A.M. blogging and shuttling between the second and fourth floor at all hours of the night looking for a fight to break out (disappointingly, no, third floor girls stayed under control), I woke up to my alarm and instantly turned it off and went back to bed. Only problem is, after years of doing this, I've outsmarted myself, so while I could sleep through the first alarm pretty easily, I did not have the internal fortitude to turn off the second and third alarms. My legs were still jelly from yesterday. Out of bananas, out of apples. Turn on Sportscenter. Longoria still isn't playing today. Strike one.
What better way to brighten my day than a rousing game of Chess Titans? Beats the crap out of taking notes. It went something like this:
<---- That's me, about to get my face slammed into the checkmate pencil by the Joker. Okay, I'll just quit so I don't get the loss counted in the statistics. Whoops, you quit and it still counts as a loss. Effing Windows Vista. That's strike two.
Back in the pad, turn on the telly. Law and Order episodes are the exact same episodes as were on last night (not entirely unexpected, but utterly disappointing). So it's two hours of ESPN I suppose. And of course, I didn't see the NFL Live Dancing With the Stars commercial. Didn't get to hear Chris Berman say "Billy 'Whiteshoes' Johnson." Didn't hear Tom Jackson say "Nice...moves." Strike three. I call days like this Ryan Howard days. Just one giant strikeout.
Some positives though, by virtue of Youtube. After watching some classic Brandon Jennings, found a video of him absolutely ripping at the Jordan classic. Sick beat too. Maybe I'll drop some of these moves in pickup tonight. Doubtful. Improved my mood substantially though.
Goal for the remainder of my week: Videotape my roommate freestyling.
Out
What better way to brighten my day than a rousing game of Chess Titans? Beats the crap out of taking notes. It went something like this:
<---- That's me, about to get my face slammed into the checkmate pencil by the Joker. Okay, I'll just quit so I don't get the loss counted in the statistics. Whoops, you quit and it still counts as a loss. Effing Windows Vista. That's strike two.
Back in the pad, turn on the telly. Law and Order episodes are the exact same episodes as were on last night (not entirely unexpected, but utterly disappointing). So it's two hours of ESPN I suppose. And of course, I didn't see the NFL Live Dancing With the Stars commercial. Didn't get to hear Chris Berman say "Billy 'Whiteshoes' Johnson." Didn't hear Tom Jackson say "Nice...moves." Strike three. I call days like this Ryan Howard days. Just one giant strikeout.
Some positives though, by virtue of Youtube. After watching some classic Brandon Jennings, found a video of him absolutely ripping at the Jordan classic. Sick beat too. Maybe I'll drop some of these moves in pickup tonight. Doubtful. Improved my mood substantially though.
Goal for the remainder of my week: Videotape my roommate freestyling.
Out
Props to 47
Inspired by Chris Cooley's gem of a blog, I decided to be proactive and create one of my own. Because I am not nearly the celebrity he is, I do not expect such a loyal following and endless comments. In fact, I don't expect you to even have made it this far. If you are still reading, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. I'll wait. ... I sincerely doubt any of you actually patted yourselves on the back. Thirty seconds of my life waiting gone up in flames.
So why am I doing this? Multiple reasons. Firstly, I need something to occupy myself in my down time. I'm not a machine, I can't be expected to be doing something athletic or in some other way mobile all the time. All you other kids are on Facebook, which was formerly my chief time-waster. This is a little different. Secondith, I also am required to blog for my English class, so maybe if one of these posts spurs something a little thought-provoking I'll kill two birds with one e-stone. Thirdsies, I need to hone my writing skills, which reached an apex in fifth grade and have steadily plummeted in the eight years following. I may not be an English major, but I don't want to go my whole adult life talking like Emmitt Smith (The Pats defense don't very good??? What???), especially because my ability to make a living running with a football is somewhat limited.
This blog's intent is to not to capture my every move (yet), but instead, is to be thought-provoking, joy-filled, sarcastic, enlightening, quote-dropping, bitter, and entertaining. Don't flatter yourselves though, it is meant to first and foremost to entertain myself. When I'm sitting in Chem class on Mondays and Wednesdays I need something to do, and the more posts I have, the more of my own material I have to reread to pass the time. Chess Titans has reached its peak level of appeal (until I start winning), so I gotta have something to do. So expect me to update fairly often. Now, if you're still reading at this point, I'm VERY impressed. Five points to Gryffindor!
Blog explained. Rays win 5-4. Successful day? Correct.
So why am I doing this? Multiple reasons. Firstly, I need something to occupy myself in my down time. I'm not a machine, I can't be expected to be doing something athletic or in some other way mobile all the time. All you other kids are on Facebook, which was formerly my chief time-waster. This is a little different. Secondith, I also am required to blog for my English class, so maybe if one of these posts spurs something a little thought-provoking I'll kill two birds with one e-stone. Thirdsies, I need to hone my writing skills, which reached an apex in fifth grade and have steadily plummeted in the eight years following. I may not be an English major, but I don't want to go my whole adult life talking like Emmitt Smith (The Pats defense don't very good??? What???), especially because my ability to make a living running with a football is somewhat limited.
This blog's intent is to not to capture my every move (yet), but instead, is to be thought-provoking, joy-filled, sarcastic, enlightening, quote-dropping, bitter, and entertaining. Don't flatter yourselves though, it is meant to first and foremost to entertain myself. When I'm sitting in Chem class on Mondays and Wednesdays I need something to do, and the more posts I have, the more of my own material I have to reread to pass the time. Chess Titans has reached its peak level of appeal (until I start winning), so I gotta have something to do. So expect me to update fairly often. Now, if you're still reading at this point, I'm VERY impressed. Five points to Gryffindor!
Blog explained. Rays win 5-4. Successful day? Correct.
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