Another excellent day of college football. Another day of being too worn out to post anything constructive in a blog besides my opinion on college football, universally respected by everyone except pollsters.
Note: Florida looked darn good today. Like I said. LSU's quarterback play was grotesque. Like I said. Still some hope for a championship game appearance.
I completely started from scratch on these rankings, after extensive film study (half an hour of College GameDay, half an hour of Red River Shootout) and research (score checking). I also weighed my assessment of each team's talent level, something pollsters generally fail to do.
Team (Last Week's Ranking)
1. Texas (3)- Not only is Colt McCoy my new Heisman favorite, but that defense is suffocating. Any defense that can hold Oklahoma two touchdowns below par is elite.
2. Oklahoma (1)- But in the AP Poll they'll probably be in the 6-10 range. One sign of discouragement: star linebacker Ryan Reynolds is out for the season (again). But it doesn't make them five teams worse. One certain team of Nittany Lions lost their stud LB in the preseason and they're doing alright.
3. USC (6)- i don't care that they have a loss, do you really think Alabama would beat them heads up? Penn State? Maybe Penn State but I disrepectfully disagree.
4. Penn State (5)- They're fricking fast! Derrick Williams needs some hands.
5. Alabama (4)- Ehhhhhhhhhhh quarterback play.
6. Florida (8)- They found their running game AND their O-Line AND their defense. LSU was overrated anyways (not by me though!)
7. Ohio State (9)- TP's got that crazy spit. The defense is lockdown.
8. Missouri (2)- NO defense. Chase Daniel needs to lose weight. But they did get screwed on that replay.
9. LSU (7)- No need to congratulate me for calling it
10. Georgia (12)- What is this? Offense??? Against Tennessee??? Oh...Tennessee.
11. Utah (14)- I jumped them over BYU because they show real flashes of dominance on both sides, whereas BYU hasn't really put anyone away since UCLA. Then again, if you only need one bullet to kill a dude you ain't gonna waste a full clip
12. BYU (10)- Next week will be their first real barometer vs. TCU
13. Texas Tech (11)- Lookin' shakier and shakier every year, but Mike Crabtree has
14. Boise State (UNR)- Southern Miss has a legit offense, and Boise State shut them down
15. Oklahoma State (15)- No, I'm not moving them up just because they win, and no, I won't move them back down when they lose to Oklahoma. This is where I think they'll be at the end of the season.
16. Wake Forest
17. South Florida
18. Kansas
19. Virginia Tech
20. Michigan State
21. North Carolina
22. Ball State
23. Wisconsin
24. TCU
25. Oregon State
The picks:
Chicago 20, Atlanta 17
Indianapolis 28, Baltimore 7
Minnesota 17, Detroit 7
New Orleans 27, Oakland 10
NY Jets 24, Cincy 16
Carolina 20, Tampa Bay 13
Washington 28, St. Louis 21
Miami 35, Houston 14
Jacksonville 24, Denver 21
Dallas 28, Zona 14
Philly 35, San Fran 0
Green Bay 20, Seattle 10
San Diego 24, New England 21
New York Giants 38, Cleveland 21
Lou Holtz Video of the Day: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/kPOFb9Lqnn9pA8Nwcn . The doctor will see you now.
You Stay Classy, Cyberspace
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
What should I do???? I'd go to CiCi's
Of all of the hobbies I have acquired in college (blogging, excessive weightlifting, scouting out the pimped out rides, studying), I'd say that perhaps my favorite one is competitive eating.
Generally, I compete with my previous day's calorie intake, making it the most intense one-man competition I know of in existence. I stare down the food before I eat it, basically psyching it out before I devour it. Mind games. Table manners got thrown out a while ago also, there is absolutely no meticulousness in my eating style. I'm pretty much silent, too, which is kind of spooky when it's typically just me and Justin. Whatever, he deals.
I don't actually track the calories, because I'm afraid I might be breaking 6K a day. But I have a general gist of what I'm putting down my esophagus, and it ain't always pretty. I can't upload images from my phone, but I have taken a few pictures of my "small" meals, and some snaps of my los meales grandes. This, and drinking about 3x more fluids than I did over the summer- well, let's just say when you breathe in more, you breathe out a lot faster, a lot heavier, and a lot more frequently.
Let's take a typical Tuesday meal and maybe someone with extensive knowledge in calorie counting can give me an approximation.
Breakfast: 4 pancakes/pieces of french toast, ~6-8 eggs, 10 sausage links, a plate of potatoes/home fries, 3 glasses of milk, 2 cinnamon rolls or blueberry muffins, 2 pieces of toast
Lunch: 2 pieces peperoni pizza, 5 hot dogs w/ buns, plate of pasta, chef salad, turkey/ham/roast beef/chicken sandwich, 2 glasses of milk, ice cream cone!!!, apple
Pick-Me-Up/Pre-Dinner Meal: 12" BMT from Subway or 2 Bacon-Egg-Cheese sandwiches, 2-3 nutrigrain bars or 3 bananas/apples, glass of milk
Late Night/Post Workout Meal: 2 double cheeseburgers, 2 servings of whatever the meat entree is (pork chop, chicken fried steak, pot roast, etc.), 3 pieces of pizza, plate of french fries, 2 apples, chef salad, 3 pieces of bread, dessert (2 pieces of pie or 3-4 cookies), ice cream cone, 2 glasses of milk w/ protein powder.
So yeah, maybe if I'm bored one day I'll calculate that, but if I keep it up, not only will I be grossly obese by Thanksgiving break, but William Bainbridge's Chipotle record is in mortal peril.
Oh, and Hail. 23-17, Skins over Eagles, and it was a beautiful game. At least what I saw of it was good. Well... no, I only saw up until 14-0. But Portis was Portis, and Campbell is this year's David Garrard. Efficient management of the game. However, unlike Garrard, Campbell has a tech nine for a right arm, and occasionally likes to show that off for the ladies and Tony Homo. There is a very good chance the Skins could lose a pretty simple game next week against St. Louis, but if they can get up for that game, they have the Lions and the Browns after that, and could be 7-1 with all of their divisional road games out of the way. Of course, they'd still have to play the Seahawks, Steelers, Titans, Ravens, Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants after that. But right now they are 4-1 against the toughest schedule in the league. Absolute power.
Lastly, My College Football Fine Fifteen:
1) Oklahoma- Xplosive.
2) Missouri- Chase Daniels whines a lot for someone with 93 touchdown throws this season. That number is an approximation.
3) Texas- My goodness Colt McCoy is good. Yet he might only bet he 4th best quarterback in his own conference.
4) Alabama- My gut is they're gonna lose to Mississippi State in week 12. Not sold on them yet.
5) Penn State- Spread HD can't be the name the coaches came up with for the O, can it?
6) USC- Sanchez played muy bueno last week. USC is still a sick team, even though Quizz destoyed them and I hate them.
7) LSU- If they had a dependable QB, they'd be much, much higher.
8) Florida- Fix that O-Line. But good to see some receivers catch and a running back...uh...run.
9) Ohio State- Beat Wisconsin in a tough environment, and got Beanie back.
10) BYU- Ehhh I dunno, the competition thus far has been kinda week, but they're in for a very challenging final two games. Max Hall has been pretty sick, though.
11) Texas Tech- If college football had fantasy football, Graham Harrell would have been my first round pick, and Michael Crabtree my second. And I'd be in first place.
12) Georgia- They're gonna be so good next year, but it's not next year yet, is it?
13) Kansas- Poor Todd Reesing. He might be a top ten quarterback nationally, but he's not even top 5 in his own conference.
14) Utah- Great win over Oregon State.
15) Oklahoma State- Zac Robinson has a 204.6 qb rating. 204.6! It's times like this I wish you could capitalize numbers.
Notice 6 Big 12 teams in my Top 15. All of them have absolutely disgusting, NFL quality quarterbacks. As a matter of fact, that is pretty much the common denominator amongst my top teams. The only teams who don't Bama and LSU, have nasty defenses and big O-Lines. But they won't win any championships.
L8ter sk8ers
Generally, I compete with my previous day's calorie intake, making it the most intense one-man competition I know of in existence. I stare down the food before I eat it, basically psyching it out before I devour it. Mind games. Table manners got thrown out a while ago also, there is absolutely no meticulousness in my eating style. I'm pretty much silent, too, which is kind of spooky when it's typically just me and Justin. Whatever, he deals.
I don't actually track the calories, because I'm afraid I might be breaking 6K a day. But I have a general gist of what I'm putting down my esophagus, and it ain't always pretty. I can't upload images from my phone, but I have taken a few pictures of my "small" meals, and some snaps of my los meales grandes. This, and drinking about 3x more fluids than I did over the summer- well, let's just say when you breathe in more, you breathe out a lot faster, a lot heavier, and a lot more frequently.
Let's take a typical Tuesday meal and maybe someone with extensive knowledge in calorie counting can give me an approximation.
Breakfast: 4 pancakes/pieces of french toast, ~6-8 eggs, 10 sausage links, a plate of potatoes/home fries, 3 glasses of milk, 2 cinnamon rolls or blueberry muffins, 2 pieces of toast
Lunch: 2 pieces peperoni pizza, 5 hot dogs w/ buns, plate of pasta, chef salad, turkey/ham/roast beef/chicken sandwich, 2 glasses of milk, ice cream cone!!!, apple
Pick-Me-Up/Pre-Dinner Meal: 12" BMT from Subway or 2 Bacon-Egg-Cheese sandwiches, 2-3 nutrigrain bars or 3 bananas/apples, glass of milk
Late Night/Post Workout Meal: 2 double cheeseburgers, 2 servings of whatever the meat entree is (pork chop, chicken fried steak, pot roast, etc.), 3 pieces of pizza, plate of french fries, 2 apples, chef salad, 3 pieces of bread, dessert (2 pieces of pie or 3-4 cookies), ice cream cone, 2 glasses of milk w/ protein powder.
So yeah, maybe if I'm bored one day I'll calculate that, but if I keep it up, not only will I be grossly obese by Thanksgiving break, but William Bainbridge's Chipotle record is in mortal peril.
Oh, and Hail. 23-17, Skins over Eagles, and it was a beautiful game. At least what I saw of it was good. Well... no, I only saw up until 14-0. But Portis was Portis, and Campbell is this year's David Garrard. Efficient management of the game. However, unlike Garrard, Campbell has a tech nine for a right arm, and occasionally likes to show that off for the ladies and Tony Homo. There is a very good chance the Skins could lose a pretty simple game next week against St. Louis, but if they can get up for that game, they have the Lions and the Browns after that, and could be 7-1 with all of their divisional road games out of the way. Of course, they'd still have to play the Seahawks, Steelers, Titans, Ravens, Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants after that. But right now they are 4-1 against the toughest schedule in the league. Absolute power.
Lastly, My College Football Fine Fifteen:
1) Oklahoma- Xplosive.
2) Missouri- Chase Daniels whines a lot for someone with 93 touchdown throws this season. That number is an approximation.
3) Texas- My goodness Colt McCoy is good. Yet he might only bet he 4th best quarterback in his own conference.
4) Alabama- My gut is they're gonna lose to Mississippi State in week 12. Not sold on them yet.
5) Penn State- Spread HD can't be the name the coaches came up with for the O, can it?
6) USC- Sanchez played muy bueno last week. USC is still a sick team, even though Quizz destoyed them and I hate them.
7) LSU- If they had a dependable QB, they'd be much, much higher.
8) Florida- Fix that O-Line. But good to see some receivers catch and a running back...uh...run.
9) Ohio State- Beat Wisconsin in a tough environment, and got Beanie back.
10) BYU- Ehhh I dunno, the competition thus far has been kinda week, but they're in for a very challenging final two games. Max Hall has been pretty sick, though.
11) Texas Tech- If college football had fantasy football, Graham Harrell would have been my first round pick, and Michael Crabtree my second. And I'd be in first place.
12) Georgia- They're gonna be so good next year, but it's not next year yet, is it?
13) Kansas- Poor Todd Reesing. He might be a top ten quarterback nationally, but he's not even top 5 in his own conference.
14) Utah- Great win over Oregon State.
15) Oklahoma State- Zac Robinson has a 204.6 qb rating. 204.6! It's times like this I wish you could capitalize numbers.
Notice 6 Big 12 teams in my Top 15. All of them have absolutely disgusting, NFL quality quarterbacks. As a matter of fact, that is pretty much the common denominator amongst my top teams. The only teams who don't Bama and LSU, have nasty defenses and big O-Lines. But they won't win any championships.
L8ter sk8ers
Five Up, Five Down
Sup. Pretty simple premise...
Five Up:
1) Double cheeseburger for breakfast.
2) I was SO right about Terrelle Pryor.
3)) Bye bye, Cubbies.
4) I discovered a blogger more accomplished than I.
5) Rays are up Two-Zip.
-Five Down:
1) The layout of Rite-Aid. Almost got lost trying to navigate those catacombs they call aisles.
2) I was SO wrong about Vanderbilt. For now.
3) Kimbo couldn't even make it to round two. Still scared of him.
4) Workout got cut short by father time...
5) ...Yet i'm still sore.
You don't have to scream at me, I admitted I'm wrong. I have no doubt in my mind you will win out now...wait, what? You play Florida? And Georgia? And the team you beat today was AUBURN? Nvm. Lolz. Haha internet lingo makes me R.O.F.L.
Also, today it came to pass that I learned Matt Kemp's nickname is "The Bison." Inspired by the Brian Dawkins of baseball, I have compiled an All-Nicknamia-Animalia Team.
C- Brandon "Tiger" Inge. Brandon Inge plays for the Detroit Tigers. From hereon, I will be referred to as Steven "Ram" Dungan. And my dad would be Blue Hen Dungan.
1B- Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff. The winningest player on the team, no doubt, because he endorses back-to-back-to-back AAU national championship-worthy instruction. That's not the actual commercial obviously, but if you've watched ESPN within the last 17 years, you have to have seen the Tom Emanski commercial.
2B- Ryne "Rhino" Sanburg. Okay, he's not a current player, but after watching the Dodgers broom the Cubs, they can use all the help they can get. Better than Fukudome.
3B- Cal "Iron Man" Ripken. Not an animal you say? Oho, you jest. You gents who went crazy and yelled "IRON MAN'S A BEAST!" every time he kicked butt. Beast = animal, look it up.
SS- Cal can play short, as well.
LF- Kosuke "Suck Fish" Fukudome. Okay, not his true alias (yet), but seriously, if said species was in existence... I mean have you seen this guy swing?
CF- Matt "The Bison" Kemp. Obviously in the RBI program as a youth, as evidenced by his starting a brawl by taking offense to catcher tagging him ON A DROPPED THIRD STRIKE.
RF- Lance "Big Puma" Berkman. He actually came up with this nickname on his own. True story.
SP- Sidney "Shrek" Ponson. I think facial/structural similarity contributed to this title.
SP- Mike "Moose" Mussina. He's cool because he solves crosswords, and so do I. Neither of us is participating in the playoffs either, and I'm doing sitting at home on my butt for a lot less than 18 milli a year.
RP- Ryan "Mad Dog" Madson. Personally I think Grant Balfour deserves a nickname derived from the animal kingdom. Perhaps Grant "anger-infused kangaroo" Balfour. Yeah.
DH- Adam "Big Donkey" Dunn. Refers to his hitting power, if there was any confusion.
Other cool nicknames**:
**My source is Wikipedia. You and I could debate the authenticity of Wikipedia for hours. Or you could just shut up and read this list, so hilarity may ensue.
-Mike "The Biggest Eyebrows in Baseball" Lowell. Debatable, but the man only has one testicle, so BACK OFF.
-...
-...
Well I couldn't find anymore. You're welcome to Google it yourself, I won't try to stop you.
Five Up:
1) Double cheeseburger for breakfast.
2) I was SO right about Terrelle Pryor.
3)) Bye bye, Cubbies.
4) I discovered a blogger more accomplished than I.
5) Rays are up Two-Zip.
"Perhaps the reason why I suck so much that I can't even start for a team that got swept was that I look at the camera whilst I swing."
-Five Down:
1) The layout of Rite-Aid. Almost got lost trying to navigate those catacombs they call aisles.
2) I was SO wrong about Vanderbilt. For now.
3) Kimbo couldn't even make it to round two. Still scared of him.
4) Workout got cut short by father time...
5) ...Yet i'm still sore.
You don't have to scream at me, I admitted I'm wrong. I have no doubt in my mind you will win out now...wait, what? You play Florida? And Georgia? And the team you beat today was AUBURN? Nvm. Lolz. Haha internet lingo makes me R.O.F.L.Also, today it came to pass that I learned Matt Kemp's nickname is "The Bison." Inspired by the Brian Dawkins of baseball, I have compiled an All-Nicknamia-Animalia Team.
C- Brandon "Tiger" Inge. Brandon Inge plays for the Detroit Tigers. From hereon, I will be referred to as Steven "Ram" Dungan. And my dad would be Blue Hen Dungan.
1B- Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff. The winningest player on the team, no doubt, because he endorses back-to-back-to-back AAU national championship-worthy instruction. That's not the actual commercial obviously, but if you've watched ESPN within the last 17 years, you have to have seen the Tom Emanski commercial.
2B- Ryne "Rhino" Sanburg. Okay, he's not a current player, but after watching the Dodgers broom the Cubs, they can use all the help they can get. Better than Fukudome.
3B- Cal "Iron Man" Ripken. Not an animal you say? Oho, you jest. You gents who went crazy and yelled "IRON MAN'S A BEAST!" every time he kicked butt. Beast = animal, look it up.
SS- Cal can play short, as well.
LF- Kosuke "Suck Fish" Fukudome. Okay, not his true alias (yet), but seriously, if said species was in existence... I mean have you seen this guy swing?
CF- Matt "The Bison" Kemp. Obviously in the RBI program as a youth, as evidenced by his starting a brawl by taking offense to catcher tagging him ON A DROPPED THIRD STRIKE.
RF- Lance "Big Puma" Berkman. He actually came up with this nickname on his own. True story.
SP- Sidney "Shrek" Ponson. I think facial/structural similarity contributed to this title.
SP- Mike "Moose" Mussina. He's cool because he solves crosswords, and so do I. Neither of us is participating in the playoffs either, and I'm doing sitting at home on my butt for a lot less than 18 milli a year.
RP- Ryan "Mad Dog" Madson. Personally I think Grant Balfour deserves a nickname derived from the animal kingdom. Perhaps Grant "anger-infused kangaroo" Balfour. Yeah.
DH- Adam "Big Donkey" Dunn. Refers to his hitting power, if there was any confusion.
Other cool nicknames**:
**My source is Wikipedia. You and I could debate the authenticity of Wikipedia for hours. Or you could just shut up and read this list, so hilarity may ensue.
-Mike "The Biggest Eyebrows in Baseball" Lowell. Debatable, but the man only has one testicle, so BACK OFF.
-...
-...
Well I couldn't find anymore. You're welcome to Google it yourself, I won't try to stop you.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Live Blog: Rays vs. White Sox
2:30- The first day of the rest of my life- The Rays' first ever playoff game! James Shields is going for Tampa in game one. He should be sharp, he pitched one shutout inning five days ago. Everyone has mohawks at this point, including the fans standing in line. For the record, I am picking the Rays to win this series in four games.
2:38- First pitch by Shields paints the outside corner for a strike. The cowbells are already deafening. The count is already 0 and 2.
2:47- Shields and Vazquez raced through the first, Shields on 10 pitches (8 strikes) and Vazquez on 8 (5 strikes). BJ Upton, 4th in the AL in walks, flew out first pitch swinging. After 1: CHI 0-0-0, TB 0-0-0
2:51- Tony Gwynn thought the Rays were done four different times this year, according to his personal testimony. Perhaps when your lifetime batting average is higher than the Rays' lifetime winning percentage, you make these assumptions. Marc Fein credits the RayHawk trend to Aki Iwamura, and after seeing the abundance of blue RayHawks, I think I'll opt for one too if they win this series. UPDATE: That was actually not Tony Gwynn's opinion, but rather Harold Reynolds. Since HR isn't a .338 career hitter, chalk that judgment up to pure stupidity.
2:57- Ryan Howard: "Everyone wants a piece of the pie. But there's not enough for everyone." Well duh that's because CC Sabathia and Prince Fielder are in the playoffs. 530 pounds right there. And RyHo's no dwarf himself.
3:00- Longoria, first pitch bomb to left. That's why he's my hero. Grandpa Floyd almost followed it up but it was ten feet foul. I know what Collin McDonald would say in this situation.... "SHOOOOOO hit it fair [jumbled criticism] brotha!" After 2: CHI 0-0-0, TB 1-2-0
3:08- Lysol break. The smell from roomie's 23 hits of Axe (23!!!) are still lingering and I'm not talkin' bout the Cranberries song. I think I'll go pee too.
3:11- 46 Across "It's found to left on a sink" 11 letters. HOTWATERTAP. Racing through this crossword. Shields gives up his first hit, and Pena is taken out for unknown reasons??? UPDATE: He hurt his eye doing something around the house. I'd love to hear the back story.
3:16- Shields did give up two cheap hits but he's pitching really well. He's fallen behind in the count only once. His command is really sharp today, he's painting the corners and he's using that curve pretty effectively. He also tossed in some sort of split-fingered pitch and as I say this Dewayne Wise scoops a fastball off the turf over the fence.
3:19- Harold Reynolds: "I mean,how often do you hear the phrase 'a bloop and a blast?'". First time in my life, Harold.
3:28- Austin McNabb: "Triples are sexy too." Especially when Aki, founder of the RayHawk, hits it. You know who else is sexy? Evan Longoria, because he just jacked another one. There's your lead, James Shields. Keep it. After 3: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0
3:38- "Ocho Cinco vows to kiss Cowboys star after touchdown." WHAT?? Which one? Witten? T.O.? Homo? Oh, he means the star at the fifty yard line. Hopefully Roy Williams pulls a George Teague on him.
3:48- Cliff Floyd had two almost-homers, but they were a tad foul. He ended up striking out both times. After 4: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0
4:10- Not much going on in the game so I decide to conduct some research on deadly animals. The ninth deadliest animal in the world: the cape buffalo, which attack via head-on charge. In herds. Sweet. Now something is happening, two on for Longoria. Homer number three?
4:15- Single through the hole, Longoria drives in another run. Pitching change. Re: Deadly Animals- "Not every elephant is as friendly as Dumbo. Elephants kill more than 500 people a year worldwide." Livescience.com just ripped my perception of elephants to shreds- they don't kill nobody in Jungle Book!
4:21- If the right field foul line shifted 20 feet, Cliff Floyd would have two jacks and a two-bagger. Alas, the Trop possesses standard dimensions, and Floyd is one whiff away from the golden sombrero. Someone ought to talk to the Trop architects. After 5: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0
4:38- Clayton Richard gave up a leadoff hit. After that minor transgression: 4 batters, 4 strikeouts. Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em. And then he just sat down Aki for five in a row. Speaking of gangsta rap, my roommate is karaoke rapping to his computer right now. Kind of throws of the acoustics of the room. My bet: Shields isn't coming back on the mound, and shutdown reliever Grant Balfour is going to come on and mow through the ChiSox. After 6: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0
4:44- Erroneous. Erroneous on both accounts. He is in a mighty fine groove, but he's now, halfway through his first batter, up to 89 pitches. Single by Konerko, let's see if the Sox get to him. If Shields gets in trouble, the Rays have an excellent bullpen, so my worries are minimal. He loaded the bases so stay tuned.
4:59- It's hard work being so right, so often. The Rays went to Balfour. With the bases juiced, two up, two strikeouts. Balfour to Orlando Cabrera: "SIT YOUR A** DOWN!" Brass balls, Grant. Brass balls.
5:02- This is the third time Harold Reynolds has called something "childish," or said that some action is something "they should have learned in Little League." Hey, Harold, when I was of Little League age, I learned not to touch women in the chest, and maybe if you learned that you'd still have your job with Baseball Tonight. After 7: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-9-0
5:12- Harold likes to call J.P. Howell's curveball "The Devastator." Could just call it a hard curve or whatever. And Harold, if you're a lefty throwing a Devastator to a righty on the inside corner, the ball can't tail back over the plate. Whatever, he just Devastated the side. Rays relievers perfect so far.
5:32- Uh... I guess an inning happened? Okay, sure, the Rays did load the bases. But they loaded the bases for BJ Upton with two outs, and my mom could have told you he was going to strike out. After 8: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-11-0
5:39- The atmosphere has been electric all game long in the Trop. The meteoric rise of Tampa Bay baseball is so good for the game, and finally exonerates Dick Vitale and his years of telling people to watch out for the Rays. Lovin' the Simpsons-themed sound effects as well. When AJ Pierzynski got thrown out standing up on a steal, the P.A. dude played a cut of Nelson Muntz's HA-HA. And when Paul Konerko tried to make three balls into a walk, and realized his mistake halfway down the line, "D'oh!" reverberated throughout the stadium. Dan Wheeler, hold 'em tiger.
5:48- And that's a wrap. Rays 6, White Sox 4. WP: Shields (1-0) LP: Vasquez (0-1) SV: Wheeler (1)
2:38- First pitch by Shields paints the outside corner for a strike. The cowbells are already deafening. The count is already 0 and 2.
2:47- Shields and Vazquez raced through the first, Shields on 10 pitches (8 strikes) and Vazquez on 8 (5 strikes). BJ Upton, 4th in the AL in walks, flew out first pitch swinging. After 1: CHI 0-0-0, TB 0-0-0
2:51- Tony Gwynn thought the Rays were done four different times this year, according to his personal testimony. Perhaps when your lifetime batting average is higher than the Rays' lifetime winning percentage, you make these assumptions. Marc Fein credits the RayHawk trend to Aki Iwamura, and after seeing the abundance of blue RayHawks, I think I'll opt for one too if they win this series. UPDATE: That was actually not Tony Gwynn's opinion, but rather Harold Reynolds. Since HR isn't a .338 career hitter, chalk that judgment up to pure stupidity.
2:57- Ryan Howard: "Everyone wants a piece of the pie. But there's not enough for everyone." Well duh that's because CC Sabathia and Prince Fielder are in the playoffs. 530 pounds right there. And RyHo's no dwarf himself.
3:00- Longoria, first pitch bomb to left. That's why he's my hero. Grandpa Floyd almost followed it up but it was ten feet foul. I know what Collin McDonald would say in this situation.... "SHOOOOOO hit it fair [jumbled criticism] brotha!" After 2: CHI 0-0-0, TB 1-2-0
3:08- Lysol break. The smell from roomie's 23 hits of Axe (23!!!) are still lingering and I'm not talkin' bout the Cranberries song. I think I'll go pee too.
3:11- 46 Across "It's found to left on a sink" 11 letters. HOTWATERTAP. Racing through this crossword. Shields gives up his first hit, and Pena is taken out for unknown reasons??? UPDATE: He hurt his eye doing something around the house. I'd love to hear the back story.
3:16- Shields did give up two cheap hits but he's pitching really well. He's fallen behind in the count only once. His command is really sharp today, he's painting the corners and he's using that curve pretty effectively. He also tossed in some sort of split-fingered pitch and as I say this Dewayne Wise scoops a fastball off the turf over the fence.
3:19- Harold Reynolds: "I mean,how often do you hear the phrase 'a bloop and a blast?'". First time in my life, Harold.
3:28- Austin McNabb: "Triples are sexy too." Especially when Aki, founder of the RayHawk, hits it. You know who else is sexy? Evan Longoria, because he just jacked another one. There's your lead, James Shields. Keep it. After 3: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0
3:38- "Ocho Cinco vows to kiss Cowboys star after touchdown." WHAT?? Which one? Witten? T.O.? Homo? Oh, he means the star at the fifty yard line. Hopefully Roy Williams pulls a George Teague on him.
3:48- Cliff Floyd had two almost-homers, but they were a tad foul. He ended up striking out both times. After 4: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0
4:10- Not much going on in the game so I decide to conduct some research on deadly animals. The ninth deadliest animal in the world: the cape buffalo, which attack via head-on charge. In herds. Sweet. Now something is happening, two on for Longoria. Homer number three?
4:15- Single through the hole, Longoria drives in another run. Pitching change. Re: Deadly Animals- "Not every elephant is as friendly as Dumbo. Elephants kill more than 500 people a year worldwide." Livescience.com just ripped my perception of elephants to shreds- they don't kill nobody in Jungle Book!
4:21- If the right field foul line shifted 20 feet, Cliff Floyd would have two jacks and a two-bagger. Alas, the Trop possesses standard dimensions, and Floyd is one whiff away from the golden sombrero. Someone ought to talk to the Trop architects. After 5: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0
4:38- Clayton Richard gave up a leadoff hit. After that minor transgression: 4 batters, 4 strikeouts. Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em. And then he just sat down Aki for five in a row. Speaking of gangsta rap, my roommate is karaoke rapping to his computer right now. Kind of throws of the acoustics of the room. My bet: Shields isn't coming back on the mound, and shutdown reliever Grant Balfour is going to come on and mow through the ChiSox. After 6: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0
4:44- Erroneous. Erroneous on both accounts. He is in a mighty fine groove, but he's now, halfway through his first batter, up to 89 pitches. Single by Konerko, let's see if the Sox get to him. If Shields gets in trouble, the Rays have an excellent bullpen, so my worries are minimal. He loaded the bases so stay tuned.
4:59- It's hard work being so right, so often. The Rays went to Balfour. With the bases juiced, two up, two strikeouts. Balfour to Orlando Cabrera: "SIT YOUR A** DOWN!" Brass balls, Grant. Brass balls.
5:02- This is the third time Harold Reynolds has called something "childish," or said that some action is something "they should have learned in Little League." Hey, Harold, when I was of Little League age, I learned not to touch women in the chest, and maybe if you learned that you'd still have your job with Baseball Tonight. After 7: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-9-0
5:12- Harold likes to call J.P. Howell's curveball "The Devastator." Could just call it a hard curve or whatever. And Harold, if you're a lefty throwing a Devastator to a righty on the inside corner, the ball can't tail back over the plate. Whatever, he just Devastated the side. Rays relievers perfect so far.
5:32- Uh... I guess an inning happened? Okay, sure, the Rays did load the bases. But they loaded the bases for BJ Upton with two outs, and my mom could have told you he was going to strike out. After 8: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-11-0
5:39- The atmosphere has been electric all game long in the Trop. The meteoric rise of Tampa Bay baseball is so good for the game, and finally exonerates Dick Vitale and his years of telling people to watch out for the Rays. Lovin' the Simpsons-themed sound effects as well. When AJ Pierzynski got thrown out standing up on a steal, the P.A. dude played a cut of Nelson Muntz's HA-HA. And when Paul Konerko tried to make three balls into a walk, and realized his mistake halfway down the line, "D'oh!" reverberated throughout the stadium. Dan Wheeler, hold 'em tiger.
5:48- And that's a wrap. Rays 6, White Sox 4. WP: Shields (1-0) LP: Vasquez (0-1) SV: Wheeler (1)
Sunday, September 28, 2008
So Maybe I Was One Yard Incorrect
Tim Tebow is recognized as a legitimate deity in forty seven states and two different countries (yeah, he's kind of hero for circumcising young boys in Thailand while wearing Crocs), yet his failure to convert a fourth and one cost Florida a win and me a season's worth of predictions.
It's not over yet. I'm unwilling to throw in the towel, because a) If Florida somehow remains unscathed the rest of the season, they'll still make the championship game, and b) everyone else is losing like it's half off at Wal-Mart. Numbers 1, 3, 4, 9, 16, 22 and 24 all came out on the low end this week. And the USC loss certainly balances out the Florida loss, at least on the emotional end of things. With plenty of time to kill, I was able to submit a ballot to the Associated Press. I'm not sure I'm exactly qualified by newspaper terms to cast a vote in these matters, nor am I sure e-mailing the AP with a pseudo e-mail is the correct manner in making my voice count. So my ballot might not necessarily count for anything point-wise, but I'm holding out hope it could be used as a tiebreaker, if it comes to that. For your benefit:
Team (Record) Conference
1. Oklahoma (4-0) Big 12
2. Missouri (4-0) Big 12
3. Alabama (5-0) SEC
4. LSU (4-0) SEC
5. Texas (4-0) Big 12
6. Penn State (5-0) Big Ten
7. Florida (3-1) SEC
8. USC (2-1) Pac 10
9. BYU (4-0) Mountain West
10. Georgia (4-1) SEC
11. Ohio State (4-1) Big Ten
12. South Florida (5-0) Big East
13. Texas Tech (4-0) Big 12
14. Kansas (3-1) Big 12
15. Wisconsin (3-1) Big Ten
16. Utah (4-0) Mountain West
17. Auburn (4-1) SEC
18. Boise State (3-0) WAC
19. Fresno State (3-1) WAC
20. Northwestern (5-0) Big Ten
21. Oklahoma State (4-0) Big 12
22. Virginia Tech (4-1) ACC
23. Maryland (4-1) ACC
24. Wake Forest (3-1) ACC
25. Vanderbilt (4-0) SEC
Basically, the Big 12 and the SEC dominate this thing. I'm not too high on Texas Tech, and I'm certainly not drinking the Vanderbilt Kool-aid, but give them credit for being undefeated so far. The 49ers have won two games before either of these teams have lost one, so hats off to them. I'm sure Vanderbilt will rip right through the Georgia-Florida-Tennessee-Wake Forest section of their schedule.
The beautiful thing about Saturdays is you have nothing to do but meet fellow bloggers via the internet. Which I have taken the liberty to do today. I don't know if I'm fave five status with any of these bloggers yet, but perhaps I will eventually be able to secure a guest post. I notice all of their blogs have some sort of recurring theme, whereas mine kind of goes in whatever direction I feel. Sometimes that direction is not leaving the garage. I admire the commitment of every single one of these bloggers. The most impressive deduction I have made is their hard work has secured them a number of loyal followers, who in turn do the work for them. When you have upwards of five hundred avid daily readers, and you say "get me a video of Amare Stoudemire," I'll be darned if they don't come up with a video of Amare guest-starring in Yo Gabba Gabba. This is seriously one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. This week.
I got this video courtesy of Awful Announcing, which is my favorite of the many blogs which I have stumbled across this evening. Not only is it insightful, hilarious, and very user-intuitive, it has actual factual information that one would find useful. Such as, what NFL games I will be seeing week-in and week-out, and who will be calling these games. Also, as one would imagine, the blog centers around the theme of subpar commentators, meaning every once in a while, I stumble upon a gem uttered by this blog's hero, Emmitt Smith. Apparently sometime during Monday Night Countdown, he proclaimed "The good thing about being short is everyone else is tall." I don't know how that helps me, but as an individual falling below the average American height, I gain solace in knowing that Emmitt sees the brightside in my woes.
It's not over yet. I'm unwilling to throw in the towel, because a) If Florida somehow remains unscathed the rest of the season, they'll still make the championship game, and b) everyone else is losing like it's half off at Wal-Mart. Numbers 1, 3, 4, 9, 16, 22 and 24 all came out on the low end this week. And the USC loss certainly balances out the Florida loss, at least on the emotional end of things. With plenty of time to kill, I was able to submit a ballot to the Associated Press. I'm not sure I'm exactly qualified by newspaper terms to cast a vote in these matters, nor am I sure e-mailing the AP with a pseudo e-mail is the correct manner in making my voice count. So my ballot might not necessarily count for anything point-wise, but I'm holding out hope it could be used as a tiebreaker, if it comes to that. For your benefit:
Team (Record) Conference
1. Oklahoma (4-0) Big 12
2. Missouri (4-0) Big 12
3. Alabama (5-0) SEC
4. LSU (4-0) SEC
5. Texas (4-0) Big 12
6. Penn State (5-0) Big Ten
7. Florida (3-1) SEC
8. USC (2-1) Pac 10
9. BYU (4-0) Mountain West
10. Georgia (4-1) SEC
11. Ohio State (4-1) Big Ten
12. South Florida (5-0) Big East
13. Texas Tech (4-0) Big 12
14. Kansas (3-1) Big 12
15. Wisconsin (3-1) Big Ten
16. Utah (4-0) Mountain West
17. Auburn (4-1) SEC
18. Boise State (3-0) WAC
19. Fresno State (3-1) WAC
20. Northwestern (5-0) Big Ten
21. Oklahoma State (4-0) Big 12
22. Virginia Tech (4-1) ACC
23. Maryland (4-1) ACC
24. Wake Forest (3-1) ACC
25. Vanderbilt (4-0) SEC
Basically, the Big 12 and the SEC dominate this thing. I'm not too high on Texas Tech, and I'm certainly not drinking the Vanderbilt Kool-aid, but give them credit for being undefeated so far. The 49ers have won two games before either of these teams have lost one, so hats off to them. I'm sure Vanderbilt will rip right through the Georgia-Florida-Tennessee-Wake Forest section of their schedule.
The beautiful thing about Saturdays is you have nothing to do but meet fellow bloggers via the internet. Which I have taken the liberty to do today. I don't know if I'm fave five status with any of these bloggers yet, but perhaps I will eventually be able to secure a guest post. I notice all of their blogs have some sort of recurring theme, whereas mine kind of goes in whatever direction I feel. Sometimes that direction is not leaving the garage. I admire the commitment of every single one of these bloggers. The most impressive deduction I have made is their hard work has secured them a number of loyal followers, who in turn do the work for them. When you have upwards of five hundred avid daily readers, and you say "get me a video of Amare Stoudemire," I'll be darned if they don't come up with a video of Amare guest-starring in Yo Gabba Gabba. This is seriously one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. This week.
I got this video courtesy of Awful Announcing, which is my favorite of the many blogs which I have stumbled across this evening. Not only is it insightful, hilarious, and very user-intuitive, it has actual factual information that one would find useful. Such as, what NFL games I will be seeing week-in and week-out, and who will be calling these games. Also, as one would imagine, the blog centers around the theme of subpar commentators, meaning every once in a while, I stumble upon a gem uttered by this blog's hero, Emmitt Smith. Apparently sometime during Monday Night Countdown, he proclaimed "The good thing about being short is everyone else is tall." I don't know how that helps me, but as an individual falling below the average American height, I gain solace in knowing that Emmitt sees the brightside in my woes.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Obligatory Friday Update!
So remember how I called out the Shafer haters yesterday? Well, despite my love for the dining establishment, I do have a few minor gripes about the place (or, using Richmond terminology, "beef"). One of those beefs was the lack of beef at dinner tonight. No, what was offered was pancakes, sausage, and potatoes, a throwback of sorts to the elementary school "breakfast for lunch" offerings.
Though today wasn't terribly eventful, I am still on an unbelievable high that I owe to the Quizz Show in Corvallis. My loathing of USC is only topped (or bottomed) by my hatred for Duke, the Yankees, and perhaps the Lakers.
Some more planning has been planned, as far as prank plannage goes. The camcorder isn't really broken in yet, expect that to change in the coming days.
Though today wasn't terribly eventful, I am still on an unbelievable high that I owe to the Quizz Show in Corvallis. My loathing of USC is only topped (or bottomed) by my hatred for Duke, the Yankees, and perhaps the Lakers.
Some more planning has been planned, as far as prank plannage goes. The camcorder isn't really broken in yet, expect that to change in the coming days.
Quizz Show
Oh, exams. Some love them. Some despise them. I personally question the sanity of those that comprise the former group. It has been quite a long time since the last time I updated this blog. Consider the following events that have taken place since my last blog post:
-The San Francisco 49ers (and esteemed quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan) have won two games, whereas Drew Brees’ Saints and Brett Favre’s Packers have lost two games.
-I have submitted eleven trade requests in fantasy football. I have been turned down eleven times.
-Justin Samson has talked to three (yes, more than one) girls.
So it’s been an eventful week. After not only surviving, but, to some extent, dominating exam week, I feel that as a veteran in this learning game, I can offer a few wise words of wisdom regarding Virginia Commonwealth University:
-Love Shafer. Some of you who were actually accepted into prestigious, even marginal schools, have the luxury of multiple dining halls to select from on a day-to-day basis. Here in the center of FANville, a school of 21,000 students doesn’t see fit to satisfy our digestive needs. Not like we’re paying tuition, or anything. But instead of shunning it, you should embrace it. It’s like in Semi-Pro when one of the players takes great care of his brother. Even though, as Will Ferrell/Jackie Moon points out, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis brother’s a retard.” The grub is actually a B+ or A- on most (non-Chinese food) days. But I guess the trashing of Shafer is to be expected from the school comprised of an intelligence makeup such as VCU. Which segways perfectly into my next point…
-Show up for the quizzes. In a class of 300+ people, if you don’t show up once in a while, the prof won’t notice. Shooooo, in our Poli Sci class the other day, I counted eighty nine- eighty nine!!!!- students. Dr. O either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The previous class, there were roughly a hundred fifty, two hundred students. Problem is, in a three hundred person class, that means one hundred scholars (I use that term loosely) DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE QUIZ. And when he says “quiz,” what Dr. O means is “quiz (that counts for 25% of your grade).” And honestly, after going to class everyday, studying, and taking the exam, I feel like going to class is highly unnecessary (though it is a practice I will continue), and I could get an A going to just four classes- the three exams and the final. So if you’re going for the high achievement to effort ratio, I advise you not to throw away two letter grades in an hour and fifteen minutes.
-Go to the gym. Just not when I’m there. The gym has started to get even more and more crowded than before, and now that intramural South-American Cross Country (my new terminology for soccer) is happening, conveniently on the one indoor basketball court, the fellows who would be jacking up threes are now jacking up bench press bars. The prime times for lifting, unbothered, are the mornings (prior to eleven) and between 1300 and 1500 hours. But if you want to show up then and spot me, by all means you are very welcome to.
-Mark Sanchez is a faggot. This is not meant to be offensive to gay people, or is it relevant to the rest of these bullet points. I just looked up on my television to see Sanchez dancing with his O-Line, imitating a referee making a false start ruling. Only, the referee wasn’t basically grinding with his tight end. Plus, his face is SMOTHERED in black eye grease. Sanchez….grease…. you make the connection. Me being politically correct and all, I won’t even suggest I’m implying anything.
And that’s a rap. Yo.*
*Erin Andrews (Love her), when referring to the Oregon State O-Linemen, said that they were “jus chillin’” on the sideline. She is (debatably) better looking than I am, but clearly just as white internally and epidermally, so if she can talk hood so can I. This applies to all future blog posts.
My wife back in her college days
Now, onto my inspiration for blogging at the moment. This Oregon State-USC game is very pleasing on the eyes. Oregon State brought a 21-0 lead into halftime, and though they gave up a couple touchdowns, strung together some stops and now they’re moving the ball pretty good. Quizz Rodgers is putting on a crazy show, and the Beaver O-Line is pushing around the Trojan D-Line the way Tony Siragusa’s stomach pushes around Baconators. Or the way the Jonas Brothers push each other around in bed. But make no mistake, this is a Quizz Show.
Anytime someone as diminutive in stature as Quizz (5-6) succeeds against the big, bad, despised USC Trojans, it is blog-worthy. As I speak, Oregon State gets their field goal attempt reee-jected. Like one of the Jonas Brothers when they ask out a (legally aged) girl. Still, I am confident that Oregon State’s defense can make a final stand.
I feel like someone warned you all about USC losing a Pac-10 game…..
Out
-The San Francisco 49ers (and esteemed quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan) have won two games, whereas Drew Brees’ Saints and Brett Favre’s Packers have lost two games.
-I have submitted eleven trade requests in fantasy football. I have been turned down eleven times.
-Justin Samson has talked to three (yes, more than one) girls.
So it’s been an eventful week. After not only surviving, but, to some extent, dominating exam week, I feel that as a veteran in this learning game, I can offer a few wise words of wisdom regarding Virginia Commonwealth University:
-Love Shafer. Some of you who were actually accepted into prestigious, even marginal schools, have the luxury of multiple dining halls to select from on a day-to-day basis. Here in the center of FANville, a school of 21,000 students doesn’t see fit to satisfy our digestive needs. Not like we’re paying tuition, or anything. But instead of shunning it, you should embrace it. It’s like in Semi-Pro when one of the players takes great care of his brother. Even though, as Will Ferrell/Jackie Moon points out, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis brother’s a retard.” The grub is actually a B+ or A- on most (non-Chinese food) days. But I guess the trashing of Shafer is to be expected from the school comprised of an intelligence makeup such as VCU. Which segways perfectly into my next point…
-Show up for the quizzes. In a class of 300+ people, if you don’t show up once in a while, the prof won’t notice. Shooooo, in our Poli Sci class the other day, I counted eighty nine- eighty nine!!!!- students. Dr. O either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The previous class, there were roughly a hundred fifty, two hundred students. Problem is, in a three hundred person class, that means one hundred scholars (I use that term loosely) DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE QUIZ. And when he says “quiz,” what Dr. O means is “quiz (that counts for 25% of your grade).” And honestly, after going to class everyday, studying, and taking the exam, I feel like going to class is highly unnecessary (though it is a practice I will continue), and I could get an A going to just four classes- the three exams and the final. So if you’re going for the high achievement to effort ratio, I advise you not to throw away two letter grades in an hour and fifteen minutes.
-Go to the gym. Just not when I’m there. The gym has started to get even more and more crowded than before, and now that intramural South-American Cross Country (my new terminology for soccer) is happening, conveniently on the one indoor basketball court, the fellows who would be jacking up threes are now jacking up bench press bars. The prime times for lifting, unbothered, are the mornings (prior to eleven) and between 1300 and 1500 hours. But if you want to show up then and spot me, by all means you are very welcome to.
-Mark Sanchez is a faggot. This is not meant to be offensive to gay people, or is it relevant to the rest of these bullet points. I just looked up on my television to see Sanchez dancing with his O-Line, imitating a referee making a false start ruling. Only, the referee wasn’t basically grinding with his tight end. Plus, his face is SMOTHERED in black eye grease. Sanchez….grease…. you make the connection. Me being politically correct and all, I won’t even suggest I’m implying anything.
And that’s a rap. Yo.*
*Erin Andrews (Love her), when referring to the Oregon State O-Linemen, said that they were “jus chillin’” on the sideline. She is (debatably) better looking than I am, but clearly just as white internally and epidermally, so if she can talk hood so can I. This applies to all future blog posts.
My wife back in her college daysNow, onto my inspiration for blogging at the moment. This Oregon State-USC game is very pleasing on the eyes. Oregon State brought a 21-0 lead into halftime, and though they gave up a couple touchdowns, strung together some stops and now they’re moving the ball pretty good. Quizz Rodgers is putting on a crazy show, and the Beaver O-Line is pushing around the Trojan D-Line the way Tony Siragusa’s stomach pushes around Baconators. Or the way the Jonas Brothers push each other around in bed. But make no mistake, this is a Quizz Show.
Anytime someone as diminutive in stature as Quizz (5-6) succeeds against the big, bad, despised USC Trojans, it is blog-worthy. As I speak, Oregon State gets their field goal attempt reee-jected. Like one of the Jonas Brothers when they ask out a (legally aged) girl. Still, I am confident that Oregon State’s defense can make a final stand.
I feel like someone warned you all about USC losing a Pac-10 game…..
Out
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