Live Blog: Rays vs. White Sox

2:30- The first day of the rest of my life- The Rays' first ever playoff game! James Shields is going for Tampa in game one. He should be sharp, he pitched one shutout inning five days ago. Everyone has mohawks at this point, including the fans standing in line. For the record, I am picking the Rays to win this series in four games.

2:38- First pitch by Shields paints the outside corner for a strike. The cowbells are already deafening. The count is already 0 and 2.

2:47- Shields and Vazquez raced through the first, Shields on 10 pitches (8 strikes) and Vazquez on 8 (5 strikes). BJ Upton, 4th in the AL in walks, flew out first pitch swinging. After 1: CHI 0-0-0, TB 0-0-0

2:51- Tony Gwynn thought the Rays were done four different times this year, according to his personal testimony. Perhaps when your lifetime batting average is higher than the Rays' lifetime winning percentage, you make these assumptions. Marc Fein credits the RayHawk trend to Aki Iwamura, and after seeing the abundance of blue RayHawks, I think I'll opt for one too if they win this series. UPDATE: That was actually not Tony Gwynn's opinion, but rather Harold Reynolds. Since HR isn't a .338 career hitter, chalk that judgment up to pure stupidity.

2:57- Ryan Howard: "Everyone wants a piece of the pie. But there's not enough for everyone." Well duh that's because CC Sabathia and Prince Fielder are in the playoffs. 530 pounds right there. And RyHo's no dwarf himself.

3:00- Longoria, first pitch bomb to left. That's why he's my hero. Grandpa Floyd almost followed it up but it was ten feet foul. I know what Collin McDonald would say in this situation.... "SHOOOOOO hit it fair [jumbled criticism] brotha!" After 2: CHI 0-0-0, TB 1-2-0

3:08- Lysol break. The smell from roomie's 23 hits of Axe (23!!!) are still lingering and I'm not talkin' bout the Cranberries song. I think I'll go pee too.

3:11- 46 Across "It's found to left on a sink" 11 letters. HOTWATERTAP. Racing through this crossword. Shields gives up his first hit, and Pena is taken out for unknown reasons??? UPDATE: He hurt his eye doing something around the house. I'd love to hear the back story.

3:16- Shields did give up two cheap hits but he's pitching really well. He's fallen behind in the count only once. His command is really sharp today, he's painting the corners and he's using that curve pretty effectively. He also tossed in some sort of split-fingered pitch and as I say this Dewayne Wise scoops a fastball off the turf over the fence.

3:19- Harold Reynolds: "I mean,how often do you hear the phrase 'a bloop and a blast?'". First time in my life, Harold.

3:28- Austin McNabb: "Triples are sexy too." Especially when Aki, founder of the RayHawk, hits it. You know who else is sexy? Evan Longoria, because he just jacked another one. There's your lead, James Shields. Keep it. After 3: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0

3:38- "Ocho Cinco vows to kiss Cowboys star after touchdown." WHAT?? Which one? Witten? T.O.? Homo? Oh, he means the star at the fifty yard line. Hopefully Roy Williams pulls a George Teague on him.

3:48- Cliff Floyd had two almost-homers, but they were a tad foul. He ended up striking out both times. After 4: CHI 3-4-0, TB 4-5-0

4:10- Not much going on in the game so I decide to conduct some research on deadly animals. The ninth deadliest animal in the world: the cape buffalo, which attack via head-on charge. In herds. Sweet. Now something is happening, two on for Longoria. Homer number three?

4:15- Single through the hole, Longoria drives in another run. Pitching change. Re: Deadly Animals- "Not every elephant is as friendly as Dumbo. Elephants kill more than 500 people a year worldwide." Livescience.com just ripped my perception of elephants to shreds- they don't kill nobody in Jungle Book!

4:21- If the right field foul line shifted 20 feet, Cliff Floyd would have two jacks and a two-bagger. Alas, the Trop possesses standard dimensions, and Floyd is one whiff away from the golden sombrero. Someone ought to talk to the Trop architects. After 5: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0

4:38- Clayton Richard gave up a leadoff hit. After that minor transgression: 4 batters, 4 strikeouts. Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em. And then he just sat down Aki for five in a row. Speaking of gangsta rap, my roommate is karaoke rapping to his computer right now. Kind of throws of the acoustics of the room. My bet: Shields isn't coming back on the mound, and shutdown reliever Grant Balfour is going to come on and mow through the ChiSox. After 6: CHI 3-5-0, TB 6-9-0

4:44- Erroneous. Erroneous on both accounts. He is in a mighty fine groove, but he's now, halfway through his first batter, up to 89 pitches. Single by Konerko, let's see if the Sox get to him. If Shields gets in trouble, the Rays have an excellent bullpen, so my worries are minimal. He loaded the bases so stay tuned.

4:59- It's hard work being so right, so often. The Rays went to Balfour. With the bases juiced, two up, two strikeouts. Balfour to Orlando Cabrera: "SIT YOUR A** DOWN!" Brass balls, Grant. Brass balls.

5:02- This is the third time Harold Reynolds has called something "childish," or said that some action is something "they should have learned in Little League." Hey, Harold, when I was of Little League age, I learned not to touch women in the chest, and maybe if you learned that you'd still have your job with Baseball Tonight. After 7: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-9-0

5:12- Harold likes to call J.P. Howell's curveball "The Devastator." Could just call it a hard curve or whatever. And Harold, if you're a lefty throwing a Devastator to a righty on the inside corner, the ball can't tail back over the plate. Whatever, he just Devastated the side. Rays relievers perfect so far.

5:32- Uh... I guess an inning happened? Okay, sure, the Rays did load the bases. But they loaded the bases for BJ Upton with two outs, and my mom could have told you he was going to strike out. After 8: CHI 3-6-0, TB 6-11-0

5:39- The atmosphere has been electric all game long in the Trop. The meteoric rise of Tampa Bay baseball is so good for the game, and finally exonerates Dick Vitale and his years of telling people to watch out for the Rays. Lovin' the Simpsons-themed sound effects as well. When AJ Pierzynski got thrown out standing up on a steal, the P.A. dude played a cut of Nelson Muntz's HA-HA. And when Paul Konerko tried to make three balls into a walk, and realized his mistake halfway down the line, "D'oh!" reverberated throughout the stadium. Dan Wheeler, hold 'em tiger.

5:48- And that's a wrap. Rays 6, White Sox 4. WP: Shields (1-0) LP: Vasquez (0-1) SV: Wheeler (1)